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Can I get a witness!
This may be a repeat, but it's true.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
It`s better to be silent and thought the fool; than speak and remove all doubt.
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and of course..... " Bless your heart" definition
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The last one is inaccurate. Its actually to show the armadillo it can be done.
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
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STOP it! I have laughed so hard, I may have pissed myself!
But you forgot one...auntsumpin. That's when you pull up to the store to get a beverage, look over at yer helper and ask em "auntsumpin"(do you want something?)
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.Please consider donating $11 to Tunnels to Towers, a great way to help Veterans, who fought communist ideology all over the world.
Hail the Republic!
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Originally Posted by
Fla.HP
STOP it! I have laughed so hard, I may have pissed myself!
But you forgot one...auntsumpin. That's when you pull up to the store to get a beverage, look over at yer helper and ask em "auntsumpin"(do you want something?)
Sent from my SM-A426U using Tapatalk
I have been accused of speaking grunt. The other day my wife was telling me she couldn't always hear the difference between hùh and hūh and ūhuh and ùhh.
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
All opinions subject to change without notice.
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
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Still lmao! Yer shot out man!
Sent from my SM-A426U using Tapatalk
.Please consider donating $11 to Tunnels to Towers, a great way to help Veterans, who fought communist ideology all over the world.
Hail the Republic!
-
Originally Posted by
Fla.HP
Still lmao! Yer shot out man!
Sent from my SM-A426U using Tapatalk
I have about 15 other grunts but I couldn't figure out how to spell them.
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
All opinions subject to change without notice.
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
-
Originally Posted by
dandyme
This may be a repeat, but it's true.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
This looks like FLA.HP's sig line... grin
GA-HVAC-Tech
Your comfort, Your way, Everyday!
GA's basic rules of home heating and AC upgrades:
*Installation is more important than the brand of equipment
*The duct system keeps the house comfortable; the equipment only heats and cools (and dehumidifies)
*The value of comfort, over the long term; leave economic choices behind!
Choose your contractor wisely!
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All locations have those truisms. Here is a short list from here.
There are 2 seasons here, winter and construction.
Nebraska is one of the few places on earth where you can experience winter and summer on the same day.
You know winter is over when you see the orange barrels bloom.
During the heart of winter all cars are off white on the bottom.
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In Chinese the sound of the word for shrimp is "muh".
So is the sound of the word for every other kind of seafood as well apparently.
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This shrimp is called muh in China?
Yes.
So what's this over here called?
Muh.
Muh? I thought that was shrimp.
No that's muh - not muh!
Muh and muh are the same thing.
No! This is muh - That is different - it's muh!
OK whatever, so what is this called?
Oh; that is muh.
So every damned thing out of the ocean is called muh?
No! You stupit! This one muh! This other one is muh! Stop saying muh for Everything. They not the same! Listen to what I say: "muh"
OK; muh - which one is that again?
Shrimp! How many time I tell you!
OK; lobster is what again?
Muh.
But that's the same exact friggin word!
You too stupit to learn. Don't talk to me now!
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Maybe you were Chinaman in a former Life ?
PHM
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Originally Posted by
R600a
I have been accused of speaking grunt. The other day my wife was telling me she couldn't always hear the difference between hùh and hūh and ūhuh and ùhh.
PHM
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When faced with the choice between changing one's mind, and proving that there is no need to do so, most tend to get busy on the proof.
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Two sides to a coin...
You know you’re a Yankee if –
The farthest south you’ve been is the hat department at Macy’s.
You have a panic attack when someone talks to you on the subway.
You don’t know what Grits are. (Even though they originated in New England.)
You think a Pole Cat is a dude that was born in Poland.
You have to get the last word in. And it normally has 4 letters in it.
The last time you smiled was when you cut off an elderly woman in traffic.
You don’t wave back at people. And your confused at why they would wave at you. Some type of greeting perhaps?
Half of your vocabulary is made up of curse words.
You don’t think any of the jokes on this site are funny.
You own a collection of sweaters for your dog.
You eat fried chicken with a knife an fork.
The state you were born in or live in participated in the war of northern aggression.
You have never driven anywhere without using your horn.
You don’t understand why people in restaurants don’t talk as loud as you.
You consider being polite a weakness.
You’ll hang up on someone but be offended if anyone turns their back to you.
You have no WD-40 or Duct Tape at your home.
You pull over to look at farm animals.
You think a Yankee is a baseball player.
Your son turns down an offer to drive for NASCAR to go to law school.
You call a single family home on a half acre a ranch.
You can’t do your laundry because you ran out of quarters.
All of your friends have only one first name.
It makes you angry that your parents are still alive. And your kids feel the same way.
You buy an expensive car and then park it on the street.
You have had to ask a homeless person to wake up and get out of your car so you can go to work.
You’ve never cooked outside on a grill. Better yet, you’ve never cooked.
You think all cars are yellow and have a light on top.
You think barbecue is a verb, not a noun.
Your momma spends more time in hockey locker rooms than your father’s bedroom.
You think okra is a talk show host.
You can be surrounded bye crime and “didn’t see a thing!!”
You didn’t know chickens layed eggs and cows produced milk.
You waste large amounts of money on a date, when all you had to do was ask.
You think Skoal is a form of punishment.
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Let's pick on people from California now! Lol!
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.Please consider donating $11 to Tunnels to Towers, a great way to help Veterans, who fought communist ideology all over the world.
Hail the Republic!
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Originally Posted by
Fla.HP
Let's pick on people from California now! Lol!
Sent from my SM-A426U using Tapatalk
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Oakland?
A: The Crime Rate!
Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
A: UCLA
Q: Did you hear about the two California Valley Girls who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
Q: Where do find missing angels?
A: Lost Angeles
Q: Where do waffles go on vacation?
A: Sandy Eggo.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneou...rniajokes.html
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
All opinions subject to change without notice.
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
-
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Almost regret posting "Let's pick on Cal. now...Got a sore face, again!
Sent from my phone, using that talk thingie.
.Please consider donating $11 to Tunnels to Towers, a great way to help Veterans, who fought communist ideology all over the world.
Hail the Republic!
-
Originally Posted by
Fla.HP
Almost regret posting "Let's pick on Cal. now...Got a sore face, again!
Sent from my phone, using that talk thingie.
I didn't want to miss a chance to pick on where I grew up.
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
All opinions subject to change without notice.
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
-
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When I'm working for a local and they ask where I'm from and I say I grew up in California they get that weird look on their face like they're not sure if they should be talking to me and then I tell them that California is a great place to be from because it means you ain't there no more. It helps break the ice and let them know that just because I grew up in California don't mean I'm a Californian. Everybody called me Okie growing up so I moved there.
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
All opinions subject to change without notice.
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
-
Oh, the postings on southern English were hilarious. Think I'll try some muh for "suppa". Fixing ta fix that truck I found in my front yaad, soon as the ole lady fixes me some cornbread an hog jowles...
Sent from my phone, using that talk thingie.
.Please consider donating $11 to Tunnels to Towers, a great way to help Veterans, who fought communist ideology all over the world.
Hail the Republic!
-
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You eat fried chicken with a knife an fork. Oh hell no!
.Please consider donating $11 to Tunnels to Towers, a great way to help Veterans, who fought communist ideology all over the world.
Hail the Republic!
-
Originally Posted by
Fla.HP
You eat fried chicken with a knife an fork. Oh hell no!
I just plain old don't eat it. I guess that's the California showing through I don't like fried food.
Sent from the Okie state usin Tapatalk
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
All opinions subject to change without notice.
"Is this before or after you fired the parts cannon at it?" - senior tech
I'm tired of these mediocre "semi flammable" refrigerants. If we're going to do it let's do it right.
Unless we change direction we are likely to end up where we are going.
"It's not new, it's better than new!" Maru.
-
why doesn't texas fall into the gulf? oklahoma sucks. guess what state told me that one?
how are a divorce or a tornado the same in west va? eithr way, someone's gonna loose a trailer (home).
apparently, kentucky is the west va of tennessee. wva vs va joke just a state furthur over
Col 3:23
questions asked, answers received, ignorance abated
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