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Hanky-panky....
One day Saint Peter was welcoming new arrivals to Heaven, when this man shows up looking horrible. He tells Saint Peter that his last day was absolutely the worst day of his life.
"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just got out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th-floor apartment and found the guy clinging to the rail by his fingertips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. Seeing that he was still alive, I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."
Saint Peter thanked him for his story and sent him on to the waiting room.
The second applicant arrived. He also says that his last day was his worst.
"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the Air Conditioning equipment and I stumbled over my tools and fell off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th-floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
Saint Peter couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the waiting room.
Saint Peter, still chuckling, meets his third customer of the day.
He apologizes and says, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the last two fellows".
"I don't know," replies the man. "Picture this, I'm naked, hiding in a cedar chest...."
“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
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