Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 14 to 21 of 21
  1. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,456
    Post Likes
    "Can anyone write a counter-point joke ?"


    How about a bit of sarcasm?





    Donald is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.

    A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts 'Mickey Mouse!'

    This startles the would-be assassin and he is captured.

    Later, the secret service agent's supervisor takes him aside and asks, 'What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?'

    Blushing, the agent replies, 'I got nervous. I meant to shout 'Donald, duck!'
    Sorry men, two meme limit.

  2. Likes GeorgeKM liked this post
  3. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    napping on the couch
    Posts
    12,965
    Post Likes
    Quote Originally Posted by Poodle Head Mikey View Post
    Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk in to a bar.

    Donald leans over, and with a smile on his face, says,

    “The media is really tearing you apart for that Scandal.”

    Hillary: “You mean my lying about Benghazi?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the massive voter fraud?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Using my secret private server with classified material to hide my Activities?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything else?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, hiring cronies, and taking bribes from foreign countries?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean the drones being operated in our own country without the benefit of the law?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it declared bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “Whitewater, Watergate committee, Vince Foster, commodity Deals?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Turning Libya into chaos?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Being the mastermind of the so-called Arab Spring that only brought chaos, death and destruction to the Middle East and North Africa?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Leaving four Americans to die in Benghazi?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “The funding and arming of terrorists in Syria, the destruction and destabilization of that nation, giving the order to our lapdogs in Turkey and Saudi Arabia to give sarin gas to the “moderate” terrorists in Syria that they eventually used on civilians, and framed Assad, and had it not been for the Russians and Putin, we would have used that as a pretext to invade Syria, put a puppet in power, steal their natural resources, and leave that country in total chaos, just like we did with Libya?

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “The creation of the biggest refugees crisis since WWII?”

    Trump: “No the other one:”

    Hillary: “Leaving Iraq in chaos?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “The DOJ spying on the press?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance Executives?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “Giving our cronies in SOLYNDRA $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 months later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “The NSA monitoring citizens?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “The State Department interfering with an Inspector General Investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “Threats to all of Bill’s former mistresses to keep them quiet?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean the INSIDER TRADING of the Tyson chicken deal I did where I invested $1,000 and the next year I got $100,000?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean when Bill met with Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, just before my hearing with the FBI to cut a deal?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean the one where my IT guy at Platte River Networks asked Reddit for help to alter emails?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “You mean where the former Haitian Senate President accused me and my foundation of asking him for bribes?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean that old video of me laughing as I explain how I got the charges against that child rapist dropped by blaming the young girl for liking older men and fantasising about them. Even though I knew the guy was guilty?

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean that video of me coughing up a giant green lunger into my drinking glass then drinking it back down?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean that video of me passing out on the curb and losing my shoe?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean when I robbed Bernie Sanders of the Democratic Party Nomination by having the DNC rig the nomination process so that I would win?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “You mean how so many people that oppose me have died in mysterious ways?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “Travel Gate? When seven employees of the White House Travel Office were fired so that friends of Bill and mine could take over the travel business? And when I lied under oath during the investigation by the FBI, the Department of Justice, the White House itself, the General Accounting Office, the House Government Reform and Oversight Committee, and the Whitewater Independent Counsel?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “The scandal where (while I was Secretary of State) the State Department signed off on a deal to sell 20% of the USA’s uranium to a Canadian corporation that the Russians bought, netting a $145 million donation from Russia to the Clinton Foundation and a $500,000 speaking gig for Bill from the Russian Investment Bank that set up the corporate buyout? That scandal?”

    Trump: “No, the other one.”

    Hillary: “That time I lied when I said I was under sniper fire when I got off the plane in Bosnia?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “That time when after I became the First Lady, I improperly requested a bunch of FBI files so I could look for blackmail material on government insiders?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “That time when Bill nominated Zoe Baird as Attorney General, even though we knew she hired illegal immigrants and didn’t pay payroll taxes on them?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “When I got Nigeria exempted from foreign aid transparency guidelines despite evidence of corruption because they gave Bill $700,000 in speaking fees?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “That time in 2009 when Honduran military forces allied with rightist lawmakers ousted democratically elected President Manuel Zelaya, and I as then-Secretary of State sided with the armed forces and fought global pressure to reinstate him?”

    Trump: “No, the other one:”

    Hillary: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I’ve got it! When I stole the White House furniture and silverware when Bill left Office?”

    Trump: “THAT’S IT, THAT ONE”

    Hillary: “I thought I’d got away with that one, dammit !!!”.
    Such a funny post. I sent it to a few friends. They loved it.

    Funniest part is, I thought there were no scandals in the Obama/Biden White House. Weird. Seems to be a huge list.

    That's what they say all the time. And by "they", I mean leftists. And by "leftists" I mean Washington Democrats and the media.

    But Trump made a phone call trying to clean up corruption.

    "LET'S GET HIM!!"
    Ironically enough, said by the corrupt democrats and the corrupt media(same thing).

  4. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    9,439
    Post Likes
    And Trump says, "I'd buy you a drink Hillary but the IRS just told me I'm broke."

    Or, "Hillary didn't I grope you once?"

    Or,"Speaking of furniture, did you see all the Chinese deals I got for my Washington hotel"
    Give me a relay with big enough contacts, and I'll run the world!

    You can be anything you want......As long as you don't suck at it.

    If a person wants to create a machine that will be more likely to fail...Make it complicated.

    USAF 98 Bomb Wing 1960-66 SMW Lu49

  5. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,456
    Post Likes
    Quote Originally Posted by hvacker View Post
    And Trump says, "I'd buy you a drink Hillary but the IRS just told me I'm broke."

    Or, "Hillary didn't I grope you once?"

    Or,"Speaking of furniture, did you see all the Chinese deals I got for my Washington hotel"

    Ahhhh... such sweet, satisfying ambrosia. Never... never gets old, in fact... warms my heart.


    Sorry men, two meme limit.

  6. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    New Mexico
    Posts
    9,439
    Post Likes
    Quote Originally Posted by biodieselman View Post
    Ahhhh... such sweet, satisfying ambrosia. Never... never gets old, in fact... warms my heart.


    Are you referring to the hot chick or did I miss something?

    It looks like Agent Orange is about to pounce.
    Give me a relay with big enough contacts, and I'll run the world!

    You can be anything you want......As long as you don't suck at it.

    If a person wants to create a machine that will be more likely to fail...Make it complicated.

    USAF 98 Bomb Wing 1960-66 SMW Lu49

  7. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    26,465
    Post Likes
    Thread Starter
    A libertarian walks into a bar at 9:58P and happens to sit down on a barstool next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

    The libertarian stares up at the bar's TV screen as the 10 o'clock news comes on.

    The news crew has it's camera on a man on a ledge of a tall building; he's getting ready to jump.

    Alexandria looks at the libertarian and says, "Do you think he'll jump?"

    The libertarian says, "I bet he will."

    Alexandria says, "Well, I bet he won't."

    The libertarian puts $20 on the bar and says, "You're on."

    Just as Alexandria puts her own money down on the bar, the man on the TV screen does a swan dive off the building and falls to his death.

    Alexandria is very upset, but she hands her $20 to the libertarian, saying, "OK, here's your money."

    The libertarian says, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news, and so I knew he would jump."

    Alexandria says, "I saw that too. But I didn't think he'd do it Again."
    PHM
    --------
    The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.

  8. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Beatrice, NE
    Posts
    9,711
    Post Likes
    Quote Originally Posted by Poodle Head Mikey View Post
    A libertarian walks into a bar at 9:58P and happens to sit down on a barstool next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

    The libertarian stares up at the bar's TV screen as the 10 o'clock news comes on.

    The news crew has it's camera on a man on a ledge of a tall building; he's getting ready to jump.

    Alexandria looks at the libertarian and says, "Do you think he'll jump?"

    The libertarian says, "I bet he will."

    Alexandria says, "Well, I bet he won't."

    The libertarian puts $20 on the bar and says, "You're on."

    Just as Alexandria puts her own money down on the bar, the man on the TV screen does a swan dive off the building and falls to his death.

    Alexandria is very upset, but she hands her $20 to the libertarian, saying, "OK, here's your money."

    The libertarian says, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news, and so I knew he would jump."

    Alexandria says, "I saw that too. But I didn't think he'd do it Again."
    How ca you make fun of that woman when all she wants to do is help mankind?

  9. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    26,465
    Post Likes
    Thread Starter
    It's my innate laziness that's to blame - AOC makes it so easy. <g>

    Quote Originally Posted by BNME8EZ View Post
    How ca you make fun of that woman when all she wants to do is help mankind?
    PHM
    --------
    The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.

  10. Likes pacnw liked this post
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •