TEXT to Neighbor

[Space Racer]

Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I've got a confession to make.
I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to
get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you
in this text and I can't live with myself a minute longer without you
knowing about this. The truth is that when you're not around I've
been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than
you. I haven't been getting it at home recently and I know that
that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live
with the guilt and hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive
me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.
Regards, Richard

NEIGHBOR'S RESPONSE:

Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard --killing him.
He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.

Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second
Text message from Richard.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:

Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I
expect you figured it out and noticed that the @!*+ed Auto-Correct had
changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.
regards Richard

[joyknights]

Oh no, LOL
Wifi is the cause of his death.

[Arcturus379]

Awesome. Here's another, though not so good:

Me: What's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.

Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

Bartender: $3.

Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

[Arcturus379]

Here's another:

Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”