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serial killer
I picked up a hitchhiker last night and he seemed so surprised that I’d picked him up, “thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”I replied, “the odds of 2 Serial Killers in one car would be astronomical!”
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“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards" ~ Vernon Law
"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." ~ John Wooden
"When the teachers become unteachable we're all in trouble" ~ Mr. Bill
"Remember "Pro" is only a name, it's not always a mindset determined to do everything correctly" ~ Mr. Bill
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If thinking was easy,
everyone would do it!
Regarding Russian Roulette; five out of six players think it is a safe, enjoyable game!
"And I've been banned twice. What of it? If you aren't getting banned once every 3 years, you aren't trying." Brian8383
"it's actually 90 right now in this shaded area of satan's butthole." - HVAC_marc
“Don't believe signature quotes.” - George Washington
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Keep sharing more. 
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A man out for a walk came upon a funeral procession. The procession was lead by a minister followed by two caskets followed by a man and his dog. The man and dog were followed by at least 100 men. At the grave yard the man out for a walk ask the man with the dog who was in the caskets that so many men were in the procession. The man said my wife and mother in law. What happened he ask. My dog killed them both. Do you want to sell the dog. Yeah but I'm going to auction him off because all the men following us want to buy him.
No man can be both ignorant and free.
Thomas Jefferson
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Knock knock
Whos there?
Jethro
Jethro who?
Jethro her down the stairs and ill stab her with a screwdriver.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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The difference between a dog and your wife is this.
The dog will be glad to see you when you open the trunk of the car....
Those who dance, appear insane to those who do not hear the music.
Those who believe, appear ignorant to those who do not know God.
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I'm sorry to do this guys, but I'm trying to earn my posting privileges....
....Sooooooo, A series of jokes are coming:
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Naw, nevermind....it's tearable!!
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This morning, 'Siri' told me "Don't call me Shirley"....
...I had forgotten to take my phone out of Airplane mode.....
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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire!
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I'm sooooo excited that spring is here....
...so excited, I wet my plants....
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Did you know:
That 5 outta 4 people admit they are bad with fractions......
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How does a penguin make it's house?
Igloos it together.
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I know plenty of jokes about retired people....
...but none of them seem to work!
End. Sorry about doing that to ya'll!!
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Originally Posted by
threex5x7
This morning, 'Siri' told me "Don't call me Shirley"....
...I had forgotten to take my phone out of Airplane mode.....
Siri can be rude for sure 
)
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Originally Posted by
threex5x7
I know plenty of jokes about retired people....
...but none of them seem to work!
End. Sorry about doing that to ya'll!!
No need to tell jokes about retired people
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It seems I watched a movie with this plot..
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To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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@ threex5xy. Seems like I'll have to do the same. So here goes:
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
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A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
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