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  1. #417
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    Proportionately sized feet and a tail might be necessary as well.

    Somehow I always imagined Jesus moving more gracefully upon the water than that. Is there some secret spiritual wisdom you can shed on this issue? I'm curious to know more.

  2. #418
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    Mad,

    Here I thought that You "Retired", even got "Banned"! Dang! Your Severely Constipated Self is still kicking! I even thought that You & Butthurt, jontly went on a "Cruise", so as to get those Industrial Sized Enemas that I was strongly suggestioning.

    How goes it it the Foggy Land of Twisted, Godless, Demonically Driven Land of Liberals & Republicans?
    Hos 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I will also reject you, that you may be no priest to me. Because you have forgotten your God’s law, I will also forget your children.


    "You've got to Stand for Something or You'll fall for anything" (A. Tippin)


    Mat_15:24 But he answered, “I wasn’t sent to anyone but the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

  3. #419
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidDeBord View Post
    Mad,

    Here I thought that You "Retired", even got "Banned"! Dang! Your Severely Constipated Self is still kicking! I even thought that You & Butthurt, jontly went on a "Cruise", so as to get those Industrial Sized Enemas that I was strongly suggestioning.

    How goes it it the Foggy Land of Twisted, Godless, Demonically Driven Land of Liberals & Republicans?
    Mad up and disappeared for a few weeks after he promised to come up with a list of Trump's "crimes" and "impeachable" offenses. His excuse was he had to head to the gym. Guess he spend a great deal of time at the gym and sort of forgot his assignment on the way.

    I figured he would be too embarrassed to return without the evidence.
    "No matter how thirsty your imagination, mirages contain no water"

  4. #420
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh B View Post
    Mad up and disappeared for a few weeks after he promised to come up with a list of Trump's "crimes" and "impeachable" offenses. His excuse was he had to head to the gym. Guess he spend a great deal of time at the gym and sort of forgot his assignment on the way.

    I figured he would be too embarrassed to return without the evidence.
    MY "Modified Like Button" .

    And, ... Alas! I had hpes that he underwent that Industrial Sized 250 Gallon, Pressure Assisted Enema,
    Hos 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I will also reject you, that you may be no priest to me. Because you have forgotten your God’s law, I will also forget your children.


    "You've got to Stand for Something or You'll fall for anything" (A. Tippin)


    Mat_15:24 But he answered, “I wasn’t sent to anyone but the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

  5. #421
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidDeBord View Post
    Mad,

    Here I thought that You "Retired", even got "Banned"! Dang! Your Severely Constipated Self is still kicking! I even thought that You & Butthurt, jontly went on a "Cruise", so as to get those Industrial Sized Enemas that I was strongly suggestioning.

    How goes it it the Foggy Land of Twisted, Godless, Demonically Driven Land of Liberals & Republicans?
    Cheers to you, David. I see you're still as tenacious as ever, a defender of the faith until the bitter end.

    Yes, I did get banned months ago for a short spell on account of decrying some nonsense, and after that I temporarily lost my enthusiasm for the fray, lastly I got consumed with the mission of shopping for a new house out west.

    Are you kidding me?! hurtin wouldn't be caught dead hanging out me. He considers me to be part of the ungodly scourge of the America-destroying Left. Probably wants to see me exiled to the Aleutian Islands or some such remote location. If you want though, I could try to help you two patch things up, you know, help you guys bond over having a common enemy. Just let me know. Would be glorious to see you two god-fearing conservatives cavorting happily together again.

    Things are okay in the Foggy Land of Twisted, Godless, Demonically Driven Land of Liberals & Republicans. Same old humdrum stuff, still continuing to forsake all that is holy and sacred and preparing for my eternal torment, but I can't complain. Thanks for asking. Presumably, you're doing well as you gleefully anticipate your invitation to the paradise beyond the stars. Whatever happens, hope you'll be able to send postcards to me after the $h!t hits the fan and we go our separate ways, but please keep in mind that any messages you send to me will need to be written on asbestos fiber parchment. Anything else would just burn up before I will even have a chance to open the envelope.

    Anyhow....back to the important matter at hand. In light of the video I shared, do you think it's possible than some of Jesus' dna might have sloughed off his skin back in the day and ended up being ingested by a random lizard, who then became progenitor of a master race of spiritually advanced, water-walking reptilians. Also, do you think this could have anything to do with all the talk of reptilian overlords I hear about on the interweb? Just so you know, I don't share these questions and concerns with just anyone, David. You seem like one of the sufficiently gifted spiritualists to help me suss out the truth. I'm counting on you.

    Lastly, I'd appreciate it if you would help me clear my head of the image of Jesus chugging across the water like that Basilisk lizard who stole his dna. The whole association is an embarrassment even if it is just happenstance. So tell me, back when the great miracle occurred, do you think Jesus' gait was more along the lines of a scamper, a sashay, or a smooth even gliding movement? Side note: do you think his skin spontaneously developed a hydrophobic film to repel actual contact with the water, thereby avoiding the awkward squishy noises that you hear if someone walks across waterlogged carpet? Not saying Jesus would have lost his street cred for it, but still, when you put on a show, you don't want people second guessing your presentation.

    Okay, that's it for now. This spiritual interpretive stuff is really fun, but it's also exhausting. I wonder where you find the strength to do it all the time.


  6. #422
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    It is possible that Jesus Christ did not literally walk on water but rather that story is a parable that we may not fully understand. However, I have no problem believing that the man who was spiritually the incarnation of that which created the Universe and all Universal laws, would be capable of having control over physical laws.
    Training is important!
    Practical Training is a must!

  7. #423
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh B View Post
    Mad up and disappeared for a few weeks after he promised to come up with a list of Trump's "crimes" and "impeachable" offenses. His excuse was he had to head to the gym. Guess he spend a great deal of time at the gym and sort of forgot his assignment on the way.

    I figured he would be too embarrassed to return without the evidence.
    Hugh, just so you know, your memory for detail seems remarkably intact, but the attributed timeline is wayyyyy off. I've been gone for many months. Don't know what that says about your brain function, but you might want to have a pro run a couple tests.

    As I mentioned to ARP's favorite cleric of all things cryptic, I was banned for a short while, then lost my enthusiasm during my exile. Similar to when a special ed teacher gets tired of fishing crayons out of the gullets of especially self-destructive kids, and finally decides to take a sabbatical from work. You know, to recharge the batteries for while.

  8. #424
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMasticator View Post
    Hugh, just so you know, your memory for detail seems remarkably intact, but the attributed timeline is wayyyyy off. I've been gone for many months. Don't know what that says about your brain function, but you might want to have a pro run a couple tests.

    As I mentioned to ARP's favorite cleric of all things cryptic, I was banned for a short while, then lost my enthusiasm during my exile. Similar to when a special ed teacher gets tired of fishing crayons out of the gullets of especially self-destructive kids, and finally decides to take a sabbatical from work. You know, to recharge the batteries for while.
    MM, I can't say I always agree with your favourite tactic, provocation, or the point your making. But, you are entertaining. You certainly have re-entered the world of ARP with a splash... no Jesus DNA in you. Welcome back.

  9. #425
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMasticator View Post
    Hugh, just so you know, your memory for detail seems remarkably intact, but the attributed timeline is wayyyyy off. I've been gone for many months. Don't know what that says about your brain function, but you might want to have a pro run a couple tests.

    As I mentioned to ARP's favorite cleric of all things cryptic, I was banned for a short while, then lost my enthusiasm during my exile. Similar to when a special ed teacher gets tired of fishing crayons out of the gullets of especially self-destructive kids, and finally decides to take a sabbatical from work. You know, to recharge the batteries for while.
    Given that over the last five months I have traveled several hundred thousand miles regularly crossing more than a few time zones, my memory is doing quite well. No professional tests necessary. I still have a pretty fair memory for the absurd claims from the anti-Trump crowd who suffer from TDS and I intend to help them with their memories when all that he is charged with flies back in the faces of his persecutors.

    Trump 2020!
    "No matter how thirsty your imagination, mirages contain no water"

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  11. #426
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh B View Post
    Given that over the last five months I have traveled several hundred thousand miles regularly crossing more than a few time zones, my memory is doing quite well. No professional tests necessary. I still have a pretty fair memory for the absurd claims from the anti-Trump crowd who suffer from TDS and I intend to help them with their memories when all that he is charged with flies back in the faces of his persecutors.

    Trump 2020!
    You've not helped my memory at all. When I'm not polishing up my skills as a wordsmith, I'm constantly refreshing the data architecture that organizes my own ideas and that catalogs my exchanges with other people. Of course, I remember the thread you're referring to. Clearly. As a matter of fact, here is a reference to it on a list of tedious chores I am supposed to get around to:

    27)...Apply acid treatment to wart on right index finger
    28)...Remove the remaining wallpaper from the inside of the family room closest
    29)...Pull returning poison-ivy sprouts from around side yard
    30)...Resume volunteer group therapy work for Obama-era trauma victims at HVAC-talk.com

    Hugh, you once called me the Rimbaud of ARP, and while I appreciated the compliment at the time, I have to tell you now that you were just one small alliterative adjustment away from a far more accurate comparison:

    I am much closer to the Rambo of ARP, and here's a picture of me offering a free chiropractic adjustment to one of my esteemed colleagues in the forum, a complement to the usual trauma counseling....


    Name:  rambo is your chiro.png
Views: 45
Size:  280.9 KB



  12. #427
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lahrs View Post
    MM, I can't say I always agree with your favourite tactic, provocation, or the point your making. But, you are entertaining. You certainly have re-entered the world of ARP with a splash... no Jesus DNA in you. Welcome back.
    Thanks for the welcoming words, Lahrs, but provocation isn't really at the heart of my approach. Sure, at times I can't help but direct some disdain towards the positions of certain less respectful members of ARP, but even then I make a concerted effort to keep my comments in the realm of satire. And as any good social critic knows, satire is a tool used in defense against follies and abuses, it is not a weapon of offense or oppression. Anyone familiar with my long-term posting history knows that I am perfectly happy to discuss and debate civilly when everyone else is playing nice too. Problem is, ARP is not ideologically neutral turf, and many of the regulars here are not exactly welcoming (to put it mildly) when other kinds come by to visit the watering hole.

    For my part, I have to say I really appreciate your many posts as well. You make solid arguments, and you have an even-keeled temperament. Another excellent representative of our fine neighbor to the north.


    But what's this stuff about no Jesus dna in me?! LOL
    The funny thing is, I am quite to committed to studying and contemplating the teachings of Jesus. It's just the crass and idolatrous fetishization of his life and words that I have a problem with. I guess you could say I am waging an inverted crusade, waging rhetorical battle with those who have turned one of the world's greatest teachers into the symbolic figurehead of umpteen unsavory cults.

  13. #428
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    It is possible that Jesus Christ did not literally walk on water but rather that story is a parable that we may not fully understand. However, I have no problem believing that the man who was spiritually the incarnation of that which created the Universe and all Universal laws, would be capable of having control over physical laws.
    It's not just possible, Robo, it's pretty much a guarantee. Ponder this: what meaning do any natural laws have if a god occasionally and whimsically undermines them, especially for the crass reason of impressing lesser beings who have a wholly inadequate understanding of it all anyway? Sorry to rain on the Judeo-Christian parade, but that's not a god worth believing in. Certainly, a God of the Universe would be unfathomably mysterious and full of many wonders, but a performer of cheap parlor tricks and gimmicks...such as a man walking on water?...I think not. Actually, I can't imagine a clearer way to discredit one's understanding of the Divine than ascribing superhero-like powers to a man and labeling him as one head of a tripartite consubstantiality. Why not have him shooting laser beams from his eyes and say he's one head of a seven-part consubstantiality? It is just as believable, and by that, I mean just as absurd.

    Though perhaps hard to swallow, the truth is, the monotheistic god most people talk about is a hollow caricature of what a god could be and would be. Recall the words of Lao Tzu:

    "Tao that can be spoken of
    Is not the Everlasting Tao.
    Name that can be named,
    Is not the Everlasting Name."

  14. #429
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMasticator View Post

    But what's this stuff about no Jesus dna in me?! LOL
    You returned with a splash = you don't walk on water. In reference to your line of questioning with David up the page.

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