On Topic.

[MadeinUSA]

Is it true that…

[Lusker]

Man - A Chemical Analysis


Element : Man
Symbol : Ah (short for A$$hole)
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 6' 0" in length,
though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.
Discoverer : Eve
Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high
concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties : 1) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).

2) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly
after reaction with Wo (Snore ... zzzzz).

3) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses
reactive nature.

4) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.

5) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction
with polluted form of the Wo common ore.

Chemical properties : 1) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no
further reaction is possible.

2) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period
under extremely favorable conditions.

3) Usually willing to react with what ever is available.

4) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to
Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the
specimen bright red.

5) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm
and wet to violent/bloody.

Storage : Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for
favorable reaction style.

Uses : Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners
for Wo...

Tests : Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens
broadcast information on many wavelengths.

Caution : Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with
reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable
under correct conditions.

[Wild Leg]

Nevermind...

[frozensolid]

and The band played on.

[Lusker]

Woman - A Chemical Analysis


Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to
seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
1) Surface usually covered with painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given special treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
5) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties :
1) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
4) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
5) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
6) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
1) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
3) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
4) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
1) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when
handling.
2) Illegal to possess more than one.

[mattm]

Such the philosopher.

Did I spell that right?

[frozensolid]

Test

3. When she sees man in state described in women test question 1~~~~~~~~~~SHE WILL GET A HEADACHE.

[mattm]

Who fired the shot heard around the world?

[frozensolid]

The patriot right behind the dude who heard it.

[Edited by frozensolid on 10-18-2005 at 07:58 PM]

[karsthuntr]

My anger managment class...........



































pisses me off.

[Diceman]

This is why drugs should be legal.

[lakeman1234]

Reality is there only for those, who can't handle drugs.

[Workhorse]

What's the topic?