60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in New England sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars wont start.
People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
Moosehead Lakes water gets thicker.

20 above zero:
NYers don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, woolhats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die...
New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in New England get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they cant start the kah.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in New England start saying...Cold nuffor ya?

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Red Sox win World Series