>Jeff Foxworthy on Ontario:
>>
>>If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
>>36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food
>>will swim by, you live in Ontario.
>>
>>If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
>>live in Ontario.
>>
>>If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
>>year, you live in Ontario.
>>
>>If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of
>>his forehead, you live in Ontario.
>>
>>If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
>>Ontario.
>>
>>If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
>>dialed a wrong number, you live in Ontario.
>>
>>
>>YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN:
>>
>>1. "Vacation" means going South past Toronto for the weekend.
>>2. You measure distance in hours.
>>3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
>>4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and then
>>back again.
>>5. You can drive 110 kph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
>>blizzard, without flinching.
>>6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>>7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
>>with snow.
>>8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
>>road construction.
>>9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
>>your blue spruce.
>>10. Down South to you means Toronto ....
>>11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost
>>12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>>13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
>>14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
>>all your Ontario friends