1. When you think your prepared for the "no heat" call before going in by grabbing a thermocouple, it will be a heat pump and you'll have to go back to your truck for the gauges, also vice versa.
2. A Ratio: the whiteness of the carpet to the amount of mud by the outdoor unit.
B Ratio: the amount of mud by the outdoor unit to the times you have to go to the thermostat.
C Ratio: the amount of dirt already in the home to the times the homeowner reminds you to wipe your feet.
3. Million dollar homes are owned by stingy people, thats why they have million dollar homes.
4. If the customer does not know where the filter is, you don't really want to find it.
5. "Can you get it through 1 more year" is not a question, if you can't, someone else will.
6. If you condemn a furnace because it is unsafe you will anger the homeowner, if you don't, you will have angered the homeowners survivors.
7. All customers know who to work on their systems, they just hire you because the work is beneath them.
8. When the salesman says it will be an easy job, he was looking at the wrong piece of equipment.
9. If the new guy says he knows how to install air handlers, and you send him by himself, air will be blowing from the returns, the drain trap will be backwards, and 18-8 will twisted together for the high voltage feed.
10. You'll do your best work in crawl spaces and attics where no one will see your work, and the jobs you are rushed through are in garages, closests, and utility rooms.
11. If you complete a metal duct system without cutting your hand, you will cut your finger on the invoice you'll write up.
12. Vertical PVC pipes in attics are called Drain, Waste, VENTS. When you dump the condensate into one, the customer will want to know why their house smells like a sewer.
13. If you braze a joint close to something plastic, you won't notice its melted until you need to use it. Also, if you use a piece of sheet metal to shield the torch from high voltage wiring, the metal will get hot, the wires outer and inner insulation will melt, and the sheet metal will become a conductor.