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11-28-2005, 07:36 AM #1Professional Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
Terrorists Foiled in Dastardly Turkey Attack
Submitted by Nikolai Stephens on 26 November, 2005 - 01:26. national
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As families across America sat down to their turkey dinners this Thanksgiving, few knew how close it came to disaster. FBI officials have revealed that only days before the holiday they foiled a terrorist plot to blow up turkey farms across the nation.
“It came so close,” FBI spokesperson Sandra Morris told media. “The terrorists had actually infiltrated the farms and were minutes from activating the biggest and most savage attack on this nation since September Eleven.”
The exact nature of the attack has not been revealed by the authorities as yet. However, Brainsnap informants from within the Pentagon and FBI have confirmed that suicide bombers were to be involved.
According to our sources, thousands of turkeys were trained in terrorist camps in South America and smuggled across the Mexican border into the USA throughout the year. These turkeys operated in special cells in cities and farming districts throughout the country. The cells obtained the necessary information and contacts to allow the birds to access major turkey producing facilities and farms.
The plan was well coordinated. At the same time, across the nation, suicide turkey bombers would walk to the middle of the mass turkey farming facilities and blow themselves up, along with tens of thousands of innocent turkeys.
“America would have been devastated,” said Morris. “Had they succeeded, Thanksgiving would have been destroyed, not to mention hundreds of thousands, if not millions of turkeys killed. Our way of life and even our system of government would have been threatened. ”
Fortunately the FBI, who had been closely monitoring terrorist cells for months, was able to act swiftly and the disaster was averted.
“We’re really happy that our turkeys were saved such a worthless death,” a turkey company executive told Brainsnap. “It would have been a tragedy if the terrorists had managed to blow them up just a day before they were slaughtered and stuffed for Thanksgiving. Our turkeys went into the slaughtering machines with their heads high, proud to do service for their nation, rather than torn to pieces by a bunch of fundamentalist whack jobs.”
As yet, the details of the FBI raids and how they obtained the necessary intelligence has not been revealed. However, there are reports that a number of turkeys are now behind bars in Guantanomo Bay. It appears that the Pentagon believes the turkeys may be able to reveal vital intelligence in the War on Terror. If not, they will be a welcome addition to the military base’s Christmas dinner.
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12-31-2005, 09:39 PM #2Regular Guest
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
I don't get it. Please explain. Thanks.