I asked my ex, "HOW old is your girlfriend?" - Page 4
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  1. #40
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    Slacking off right now
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    7,546
    IT'S GREAT TO BE A MAN, BECAUSE......
    >
    >
    > You can get in & out of your 4 x 4 . Easily
    > Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    > Your orgasms are real. Always.
    > Your last name stays put.
    > You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    > Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    > The garage is all yours.
    > Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    > Chocolate is just another snack.
    > You can be president.
    > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    > Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    > You don't give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    > If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    > Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
    > You can open all your own jars.
    > You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
    > icky.
    > The only ladder you have is on the roof rack.
    > The mud goes on your truck not your face.
    > Same work...more pay.
    > Wrinkles add character.
    > Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
    > People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    > New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    > One mood, ALL the damn time.
    > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    > You can leave the motel bed unmade.
    > You can kill your own food.
    > You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    > If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
    > friend.
    > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    > You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
    > thinking: "He must be mad at me."
    > You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
    > If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
    > become lifelong friends.
    > You're not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    > You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    > You almost never have strap problems in public.
    > You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    > The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    > You don't have to shave below your neck.
    > One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
    > You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
    > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    > Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, December 24th, in
    > 45 minutes.
    > The world is your urinal

    www.vetopropac.com - The best tool bags on the market - The offical tool bag of choice by techs everywhere

    Arguing with some people is like wrestling a pig - eventually you realise the pig actually enjoys it

    Gonads serve a useful purpose but are no substitute for brains

  2. #41
    The greatest thing about being a man is having one. I would not want to have to take a like without being able to aim it.

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    East Stroudsburg, PA
    Posts
    13,215
    Originally posted by John Walker
    Only a mindless slut that is not much to look at will do a man that is more than 10 years older than herself. He may be getting better sex but she obviously has no brain.
    I doubt it. The only thing a 20 yo can do for me is show me to her mom...

  4. #43
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Victoria,Tx
    Posts
    6,680

    Smile K

    Are you telling us that Tumble weed was your ex?
    Bah, I choose Jultza...And they lived happly ever after. Dad

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    440
    Hey Roy!

    My post was referring to my ex-husband, not my ex-boyfriend. I have no idea what Tumbleweed is up to - we don't talk very often!

    I have a new man that is wonderful to me. I definitely have it right this time!




  6. #45
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    283
    Might not be able to make it to your 2nd wedding, but I'll make sure to be at the 3rd one.

  7. #46
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    440
    If you don't get an invitation, I'm sure it's because the postman lost it.

  8. #47
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902
    Originally posted by condenseddave
    Originally posted by John Walker
    Only a mindless slut that is not much to look at will do a man that is more than 10 years older than herself. He may be getting better sex but she obviously has no brain.
    I doubt it. The only thing a 20 yo can do for me is show me to her mom...
    God, you are getting old. I was thinking Mom and other sisters.

  9. #48
    Good post Pen...pretty funny, and true.
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me!

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

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    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  10. #49
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Slacking off right now
    Posts
    7,546
    Originally posted by kgouker
    Hey Roy!

    My post was referring to my ex-husband, not my ex-boyfriend. I have no idea what Tumbleweed is up to - we don't talk very often!

    I have a new man that is wonderful to me. I definitely have it right this time!
    I will come clean and confess to every one ITS ME K is having a wild and tortred affair with THe Penguin
    www.vetopropac.com - The best tool bags on the market - The offical tool bag of choice by techs everywhere

    Arguing with some people is like wrestling a pig - eventually you realise the pig actually enjoys it

    Gonads serve a useful purpose but are no substitute for brains

  11. #50
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    East Stroudsburg, PA
    Posts
    13,215
    Originally posted by James 3528
    Originally posted by condenseddave
    Originally posted by John Walker
    Only a mindless slut that is not much to look at will do a man that is more than 10 years older than herself. He may be getting better sex but she obviously has no brain.
    I doubt it. The only thing a 20 yo can do for me is show me to her mom...
    God, you are getting old. I was thinking Mom and other sisters.
    You missed the "..." thing, apparently. Which includes older sisters, young aunts, and, even the occaisional grandma, if the er, "circumstances" were right.

  12. #51
    Originally posted by condenseddave
    if the er, "circumstances" were right.
    Exactly!

    (Example)
    38 yr old....

    1) No children, single lady.
    2) 1 child, mother.
    3) 1-20 yr old child, 1-1 yr old grandchild, grandmother.

    58 yr old...

    1) No children, single lady.
    2) 1 child, mother.
    3) 1-20 yr old child, 1-1 yr old grandchild, grandmother.
    4) 1-40 yr old child, 1-20 yr old grandchild, 1-1 yr old great grandchild, Great Grandmother.

    Could be the same lady just different situations.

    So how many here could be making love to a Great Grandmother?

  13. #52
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,035
    "Could be the same lady just different situations.

    So how many here could be making love to a Great Grandmother? "


    My wife is satens ..so I make love to saten
    73% of Americans say that illegal immigration is a problem. The other 27% say, "No habla inglis!"

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