The Men's Guide to What Women Really Mean By...
At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there WILL be a quiz later).
= You want
= I want
It's your decision
= The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want
= You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk
= I need to complain
Sure... go ahead
= I don't want you to.
I'm not upset
= Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly
= You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight.
= Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights.
= I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient
= I want a new house.
I want new curtains
= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes
= the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there
= NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise
= I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?
= I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?
= I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute.
= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?
= Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.
= Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?
= [Too late, you're dead.]
= You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?
= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
Was that the baby?
= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling!
= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we're going to buy is a soap dish
= It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
(The answer to "What's wrong?")
The same old thing
= It's just that you're such an jerk
I don't want to talk about it
= Go away, I'm still building up steam