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Thread: ex's husband dying
09-17-2005, 09:15 PM #14
Bless your family,
It's a shame life is not all cotton candy and warm fuzzy places...
It seems Robert is in good hands..All that can be done is to make his last days as comfortable as possible...
Your issues with your EX need to be set aside
for your Sons' sake....I am sure you will always have issues..never the less she will always be your Sons Mother...
Although we beg to differ on this post evey once and a while...I know you have a tremdous belief in your faith...
THE POWER OF PRAYER IS TREMENDOUS...
My wife and I have been battling breast cancer since the first of June....
Life is a struggle...
Robin, no one is able to tell you what to do ...you know...
I will Pray for all of Yall..
"Value our Differences"
09-17-2005, 09:34 PM #15
Thank you all for your very supportive comments and prayers.
I would never allow a confrontation happen between my ex and myself under these circumstances. For one thing, I feel too sorry for her right now to let myself add to her grief.
My son has asked for me to come down for support. Barring just not being able to afford it, I will be there for the funeral. Robert is no longer lucid. The hospice nurse has been injecting him with morphine and other knockout drugs to allow him to die with no pain or even discomfort of understanding his demise. My son was most distressed when Robert was talking about having to take his mom to the movies because he was thinking he was back in the fifties. I explained to my son that while this is painful for him to see, it was a blessing for Robert.
On top of this, a man who I have known since my teens is also days from passing on. This man is 83 years old though and has had plenty of time preparing for his death, so it is a lot different. Still, it is strange to know that soon I will no longer be able to call him up or have an impromptu lunch with him.
I swear I don't think it was this bad for me when I thought I was going to die.Government is a disease......masquerading as its own cure…Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV
09-17-2005, 09:50 PM #16Banned
- Join Date
- Nov 2000
- Coastal Georgia
My day already sucked then I read this. Just happened to my cousin's husband. He was 45. When you are small you hear about heart attacks and that is your biggest fear for a while. Then you see this or someone with a stroke rot away and dying fast looks like a blessing.
My cousin never had it in her head he was going to die untill his final hours. Then she basically came apart. I mean really apart. I was on the cell phone with her brother hearing her. It will twist your guts up.
09-17-2005, 11:41 PM #17
Robo, it will be tough but stay strong and be there for your son. It doesnt matter what age you are, it affects every person differently. I watched my mom sink into depression and illness after a 2 year span when 4 or 5 family members died in a row, I dont think she has ever totally recovered from it.
Cancer and heart problems run on both side of my families, it is something I have always worried about and I am only 30.
I didnt notice your son's name in this thread so if you could please post his first name I would appreciate so I can add yall to my prayer list. May God grant you traveling mercies Robo wherever you need to go.Dad's Hideout The online mancave for dads
09-17-2005, 11:45 PM #18Professional Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
Stay strong for your son. It's times like these when true character comes to the top.
09-18-2005, 12:20 AM #19
Thanks again guys. My sons name is Eric. I talked to him again a few minutes ago. His moms husband, Robert, slipped into a coma about two hours ago and is not expected to recover. THe hospice nurse is saying they usually don't last more then 72 hours after becoming comatose. Part of the reason for the coma may be induced by the morphine, but it certainly seems to be the most humane way to drift out of this life.
Robert is 64. I saw him about a year ago and you would not know he was that old. He retired about a year and a half ago when he lost use of his hands. That was the beginning of the severe symptoms of the cancer.Government is a disease......masquerading as its own cure…Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV
09-18-2005, 12:29 AM #20
Good luck Robo my thoughts and prayers are with you. Your son deems like he has very good character I hope you can help him. I know the emotions will be hard to deal with but I am sure you will be up to it. Godspeed.Quote
“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own." Scott Adams
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
09-18-2005, 09:28 AM #21
You're a good dad Robin and I just hope if I'm ever in a simular position that my kids will rely on me like that. It's hard to build a relationship like that in person and you've got it going on over a 1,000 miles away. Great work dude and keep it up. The rewards of being a good parent are phenominal.What will your legacy be ??
09-18-2005, 11:28 AM #22
My son and I are very close and have mostly been living together over the years. He just moved to Florida to help out with Robert. No one expected Robert to take a dive the way he has though.
My son was taken by wife when we seperated, he was 14. After about 6 grueling months of his mother using him to get to me, he realized what she was doing.
When she abandoned him by moving out of state and then reporing him as a runnaway to cover her ass, he came to live with me. We have been co-habitating on and off ever since. He is a very good guy, but he does some very stupid things at times. This is a time when he has been nothing less then stupendous in his actions and I am very proud of the way he is handling things.
Robert made it through the night and it seems that the family down there are starting to come to grips with the realities that are going to occur shortly. I desperately need to be with there for my son during the funeral because that is when he is going to let all of the things he has been pushing down come up.
Funny, we are all going to go through similar to this and yet none of us seems to emotionally prepare for it.Government is a disease......masquerading as its own cure…Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV
09-18-2005, 12:25 PM #23
It sounds like you did a wonderful job of raising a son under very trying times. You should be pleased with your hard work. Don’t let the “Stupid Things” get to you. I believe at the convention we discussed “The mistakes we’ve made and how we learned by them”.
This is the ****ty end of life but one we have to deal with. Now is the time to be with your son, He needs you. I know the problems with your ex will stay on the back burner, you’re a good man Robin. Good luck and god bless
Paul, Vicki & Julie
09-18-2005, 12:32 PM #24Professional Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2003
- San Jose, Ca
I will be praying for you and your family.
Sometimes members of our family just need us there not to do anything but just be there. Make the calls to your son and go when the timeis right and above all be sure to tell him that you love him, are proude of him, and suport him.
I realize you are probely doning these things already, my coments are to encourage you. All of here are hurting for you and are behind you.
LenOld snipes don't die they just loose their steam
09-18-2005, 12:42 PM #25Originally posted by RoBoTeq
He is a very good guy, but he does some very stupid things at times.What will your legacy be ??
09-18-2005, 07:16 PM #26Originally posted by mattm
Originally posted by RoBoTeq
He is a very good guy, but he does some very stupid things at times.