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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    598
    >
    > Rectum Stretcher....
    > > >
    > > > While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10
    miles over the
    > > limit), a
    > > > woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun
    on the
    > > other
    > > > side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the
    car, and
    > > with
    > > > that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,
    "What's
    > your
    > > > hurry?"
    > > >
    > > > To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
    > > >
    > > > "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you
    do?"
    > > >
    > > > "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
    > > >
    > > > The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just
    what does a
    > > rectum
    > > > stretcher do?"
    > > >
    > > > "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one
    finger, then work my way
    > up
    > > to
    > > > two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in.
    I work
    > > from
    > > > side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
    but
    > surely
    > > > stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."
    > > >
    > > > "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot
    *******?" he asked.
    > > >
    > > > "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a
    bridge..."
    > > >
    > > > Traffic Ticket. $95.00
    > Court Costs $45.00
    > The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS
    A lack of planning on your part does not constitute a state of emergency on my part.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,964
    While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10
    miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

    To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

    "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

    "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

    The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just
    what does a rectum stretcher do?"

    "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

    "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot *******?" he asked.

    "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

    Traffic Ticket. $95.00
    Court Costs $45.00
    The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


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