Results 40 to 52 of 98
09-04-2005, 09:57 AM #40Professional Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2000
No, I won't close it for now, but watch the language please.
09-04-2005, 10:00 AM #41
well when i was younger i use to fight the cops,,, which is wrong i know,,, so i guess they got my # ,,,,, im not trying to be a prick to u guys,,,, i read alot of your posts on here guys.... and i learn alot from it. im just a tech trying to learn
09-04-2005, 10:01 AM #42
I don't know how Boss can read, edit and post so dang fast.
Thanks for keeping it open.Contractor locator map
How many times must one fix something before it is fixed?
09-04-2005, 10:11 AM #43Regular Guest
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
Dont take things so serious . It was obvious that I was only joking when I made up that story, i mean damn with all of the doom and gloom lately we have to break it up somehow.
Btw, I get a vacation next June . I can Be a smart A$$ anywhere you would like
09-04-2005, 10:15 AM #44
tatted79, Now, let's hear the rest of the story.
My advice is to plead not guilty right away. Then at another court appearance ask for more time to consult an attorney. If you can't afford one, use the public defender. If:
You are not guilty or:
You are guilty but have a chance to get this thing dropped.
You can work out a plea bargain thru your attorney and put it behind you.
Find the song "I fought the law and the law won" in the archives. It's true.
09-04-2005, 02:31 PM #45Professional Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
You Know You're Drunk When...
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Job interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
9. Two hands and just one mouth...now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. You can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
12. You fall off the floor...
13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger...screw dinner!
15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
16. At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
18. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed...hmm.
19. The whole bar says "Hi" when you come in...
20. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.
21. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
22. Roseanne looks good.
23. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
24. That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
25. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
26. "I'm as jober as a sudge."
27. You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani in Honolulu.
28. The shrubbery's drunk too from frequent watering.73% of Americans say that illegal immigration is a problem. The other 27% say, "No habla inglis!"
09-04-2005, 02:37 PM #46
09-04-2005, 02:48 PM #47
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
09-04-2005, 02:50 PM #48Professional Member
- Join Date
- May 2005
IM still waiting to hear the rest of the story.
09-04-2005, 03:50 PM #49
Newly issued alcohol warnings
The Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverages.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
09-04-2005, 04:03 PM #50
8. WARNING! Consumption of alcohol may cause you to turn the volume up on the CD player to 8 (or even higher), tell your neighbors to perform impossile sex acts, and take a swing at police officers.No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.
For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.
Proud member of KA Club
09-04-2005, 05:05 PM #51
Or you say to the responding officer
ah ffffff aaaakkkk youuuu ahhhhhhmmmm not drrrrrunk.............
yerrrrrrrrrrr beeeeeeeee''''n ...ahhh.... asssssssssssssss [hic] ooo..hole therrrrrrre chief,
nnnn dis is mah fricken house now git the ffffaaaaaaahhhhhhhk outtta hhhhhh...[hic]...eeeereeehhhhh [hic]
If you are observing ya gotta feel the hot stinky breathhhhh with the rrrrrrrrrrr's or the ffffffffffffffff's..
hey I know nothing, but I learned this at 14yr's old they have the Gun the Badge and the Judge behind them you got caca, zip,,nothing, so just shut up and say SIR
09-04-2005, 05:19 PM #52Originally posted by bootlen
8. WARNING! Consumption of alcohol may cause you to turn the volume up on the CD player to 8 (or even higher), tell your neighbors to perform impossile sex acts, and take a swing at police officers.R2B4BTU