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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    79

    Please come in here and tear my resume apart!

    Okay, in about two weeks time, I'll have tied up the loose ends of certain things and it will be time for me to start carpet bombing local HVAC shops, and skulking around their offices and that sort of thing, in my quest to find a new career path. I've prepared a very basic resume and I'd like for you guys to help me improve it, casting the critical eye of an HVAC person looking to hire.

    Names and locations have been changed to protect the guilty, obviously, but this is my layout and the job experiences part is real.

    Joe Anybody
    1234 Main Street
    City, State 54321
    555-555-1234


    Objective:

    An entry-level position with an established company as a first step into the HVAC industry.


    Experience:


    Anonymous Big-Box Store #2 -- August 2010 to Present
    Backroom Team Member
    Providing fast, friendly customer service, shelving and organizing store merchandise with computerized inventory system, pulling merchandise from shelves as needed.


    Bondage Gear/Sex Toy Factory & Online Retailer – December 2008 to August 2009
    Leather Products Assembler
    Assembly of leather products, accurate record keeping, organization of merchandise and supplies, and light facilities maintenance.


    Great Lakes Municipal Water Utility – May 2004 to September 2007
    Seasonal Laborer – Facilities Maintenance
    Facilities maintenance including HVAC (boilers, dehumidifiers, rooftop units), plumbing, pump/valve and motor repair, and general appearance and landscaping.


    Anonymous Big-Box Store #1 -- April 2002 to May 2004
    Stocker and Sales Representative
    Providing excellent customer service, providing a positive face for the company, organizing and maintaining store merchandise with a computerized inventory system, filling and organizing shelves.


    Education and Certification:

    AAS – Air Conditioning and Refrigeration Technology – Cheesehead Technical College. Completed May of 2011.

    EPA 608 Universal Technician & Cheeseland Dept. of Commerce Refrigerant Handling Technician Certification

    BA – Criminal Justice – University of Cheeseheads. Completed January of 2008.
    A few notes:

    - I know my objective statement is hideously lame, but I've yet to come up with something better.

    - I get that most of my experience does not really relate to the field I'm looking for, but I've honestly got nothing else...Not sure how to make that part look better.

    - Yes, I really did once handmake bondage gear and sex toys No, that tidbit is not on the *normal* version of this resume. I simply say 'leather products assembler'.

    - I realize that a BA in a totally unrelated field probably causes the average resume-reading HVAC person to lift an eyebrow and have questions, but I prefer to leave it on there. I'm *proud* that I have a liberal arts background and education to go with my technical degree. 'Thinking with both sides of your head.' as my grandfather would have called it. You can't have too much education in any field, IMO.


    So, pick, prod, criticize, and blast away! I need all the help I can get.

  2. #2
    Did you seriously assemble sex toys? You might want to camouflage that somehow. Kinda wierd. LMAO

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    phoenix, arizona
    Posts
    1,121
    why don't you simply write a real resume, something we can look and edit.

    change the name, address, and phone to: Joe anybody, 1234 main street, 555-555-1234.
    Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work." H.L. Hunt

    "In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: They must be fit for it. They must not do too much of it. And they must have a sense of success in it." John uskin

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    79
    That essentially *IS* the real resume. It's thin as can be, I know, but apart from location names, that's the real text. I'm trying to avoid talking myself up and excessive wordiness in describing my past experiences, but perhaps I've gone too far in that regard.

    And yes, Spanky, I did. That job is how I stacked up enough money to pay for tech school. Trust me, it's not as weird or exciting as it sounds.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Andr00 View Post
    That essentially *IS* the real resume. It's thin as can be, I know, but apart from location names, that's the real text. I'm trying to avoid talking myself up and excessive wordiness in describing my past experiences, but perhaps I've gone too far in that regard.

    And yes, Spanky, I did. That job is how I stacked up enough money to pay for tech school. Trust me, it's not as weird or exciting as it sounds.

    Um yeah, I wasn't thinking exciting. Just sounds wierd to sit there and assemble things that are going to be used by perverts and wierdos. I know that sounds very judgmental of me, but whatever. I judges 'em as I sees 'em. If one of my guys had that on their resume, I would definitely be affected by it. It may not matter once I got to know the candidate, but initially I would take it into consideration, probably negatively. But I'm sure there are some enlightened employers out there that would think it was a great enhancement to your resume. But you put it out here to be judged by the public, so I don't want to lie to you. It's a little wierd. (But it does show you can work with your hands, right?)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    79
    Well, as I said, I'm listed on the normal resume as a 'leather products assembler' which was my job title. And the name of the company isn't exactly x-rated, so a bible-thumpin' interviewer would have to do some digging to find out what they really do.

    I just made up names to the places I worked at and went to school at, because I'm a little leery of posting up any kind of personal info on the internet, esp at a public board.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Andr00 View Post
    Well, as I said, I'm listed on the normal resume as a 'leather products assembler' which was my job title. And the name of the company isn't exactly x-rated, so a bible-thumpin' interviewer would have to do some digging to find out what they really do. .
    Cool. That's all I was saying.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    43
    Well I would expand on what you did hands on at Cheesehead Tech (Packers fan?).

    Certainly you had some hands on experience there while they showed you this or that such as brazing, how to check superheat and subcooling etc. Just to give someone an idea of what you learned there.

    Maybe do the same thing with the seasonal maintenance job even changing filters, boiler cleanouts etc

    You could also mention that you have no fear of heights and throw something on about how eager you are to start your new career after the training you had.

    Its the right time of year to look that's for sure and the economy has picked up some also.

    Good luck.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    1,606
    ....first step into the HVAC industry.

    Screams at me I get to invest a time, effort and and a whole bunch of money into a rookie which odds dictate I will lose when you move on to your 2nd step.
    "The Bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten"

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    79
    Well, that wouldn't be a problem if we were all born with 5+ years of field experience, eh? But, as it turns out, we all have to start somewhere.

    What would you suggest as a better objective line? That's the point of this thread.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    DFW Metroplex
    Posts
    4,910
    Quote Originally Posted by Andr00 View Post
    What would you suggest as a better objective line? That's the point of this thread.
    How about something on the lines of....

    To obtain an entry level position with a reputed company and build my career in the HVAC industry.

    Basically something that doesn't blow smoke up an owner's ass regarding your abilities, but doesn't come across as 'using' a company as a stepping stone either.

    Just my
    "The problem is the average person isnt tuned in to lifelong learning, or going to seminars and so forth. If the information is not on television, and its not in the movies they watch, and its not in the few books that they buy, they dont get it" - Jack Canfield

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    79
    Yeah, that one is definitely better. 'Build a career' certainly sounds better, because it would imply building the career at *that* company.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    DFW Metroplex
    Posts
    4,910
    Quote Originally Posted by Andr00
    Bondage Gear/Sex Toy Factory & Online Retailer December 2008 to August 2009
    Leather Products Assembler
    Assembly of leather products, accurate record keeping, organization of merchandise and supplies, and light facilities maintenance.
    Just a suggestion, but I would find a way to reword this in a way that places facilities maintenance at the beginning of your job description.

    A potential employer may be looking at a TON of resumes and anything you can do to make relevant work experience stand out to the reader would be a good idea in my opinion.

    I would also remove the word 'light' as this adjective means different things to different people. You can always define your job duties in greater detail during an interview, but I personally don't think the word 'light' benefits you in any way.
    "The problem is the average person isnt tuned in to lifelong learning, or going to seminars and so forth. If the information is not on television, and its not in the movies they watch, and its not in the few books that they buy, they dont get it" - Jack Canfield

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