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  1. #1

    Hmm

    It occured to me if we didn't fart we most likely would die. Either that or our belly button would erupt like a volcano every so often and that wouldn't be pretty.
    Consider the delicate condtion in which we exist, the intricate interaction among our organs, brain, muscles and nerves. Cancer is merely a bunch of cells that won't stop, without bacteria and teeny micro-oranisms our life would be a mess.
    Everyone farts, the super models, the leaders of countries, even the pope has to blast one occasionaly. So, next time, bow your head and say thank you God, without this fart I wouldn't be here. If you really feel in the spiritual mood,indulge in a 6 pack and some beans.
    We could start a new fad, even if no one hears it, a simple thank you should be said, it's only right.
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me!

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

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    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ft Worth Tx ( North Richland Hills)
    Posts
    2,139
    If I had to thank God everytime ...I'd need skateboards strapped to my knees
    How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    7,977
    No crap. I had a boss once. very wealthy guy always in meetings with big wigs wining and dining. When he got older he had serious bowel problems. He had to go in for emergency surgery once. His wife told me that his doctor claims it's because he always had gas problems but held them in 90% of the time and caused all his problems.

    After that I never hold one in so watch out.

    Just like those people that hold in their sneeze and do it inside their head. That can't be healthy.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    7,711
    A doctor on Ophra said the average male farts 14 times a day. BUT, he also said the average female farts 14 times a day. Now, seriously, how is anyone gonna know that!

    I just know one thing. It's impossible to count your farts! Just try it for a day.
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    1,722
    Originally posted by Diceman
    It occured to me if we didn't fart we most likely would die. Either that or our belly button would erupt like a volcano every so often and that wouldn't be pretty.
    Consider the delicate condtion in which we exist, the intricate interaction among our organs, brain, muscles and nerves. Cancer is merely a bunch of cells that won't stop, without bacteria and teeny micro-oranisms our life would be a mess.
    Everyone farts, the super models, the leaders of countries, even the pope has to blast one occasionaly. So, next time, bow your head and say thank you God, without this fart I wouldn't be here. If you really feel in the spiritual mood,indulge in a 6 pack and some beans.
    We could start a new fad, even if no one hears it, a simple thank you should be said, it's only right.

    I'm going to tell my helper to say thanks every time he ****s himself. That way...I'll know what happened and I can walk away quietly instead of trying to run away while the smell already got me.
    Get back to work.

  6. #6
    something came out off my .....butt


    http://www.wavhounds.com/fartmachine60.html
    Don't interrupt me while i'm talking to myself

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    2,597
    gesundheit.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The "Burgh"
    Posts
    1,255
    Nickelodeon has one of their commercials for kids and its all about farts. Check it out sometime. They close with...know your farts, and let 'em rip

    Check it out the next time you watch Nickelodeon with your kids.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    321

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books


    [Edited by jay302 on 07-20-2005 at 11:07 PM]
    "Punctuation and capitalization is the difference between: Helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse. And: helping your uncle jack off a horse"
    ---
    If Mexicans will do the jobs Americans won't do, will they secure our borders?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    san jose,ca.
    Posts
    5,285
    You have to have a permit to fart in san jose.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Fort Worth, TX
    Posts
    11,086
    Originally posted by ozone drone
    If I had to thank God everytime ...I'd need skateboards strapped to my knees
    I'd never get anything done, bein' I'd always be in this perpetual state of genuflected thanksgiving to the Creator.

    Guess he don't mind me thankin' him on the run, seeing there ain't no letup in the source of thankfulness.

    Can't say the same state of gratefulness is shared by others in the room, though...

    • Electricity makes refrigeration happen.
    • Refrigeration makes the HVAC psychrometric process happen.
    • HVAC pyschrometrics is what makes indoor human comfort happen...IF the ducts AND the building envelope cooperate.


    A building is NOT beautiful unless it is also comfortable.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    East Stroudsburg, PA
    Posts
    13,215
    Like I needed to be told.....

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Bennington, Vermont U.S.A.
    Posts
    13,864
    That is another one of the pleasures of scuba diving. It is so much easier to fart because of the external pressure on your intestines. Plus it is fun trying to figure out which bubble is which.

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