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Thread: Grandpa & IRS

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Grandpa & IRS

    Grandpa & IRS

    The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
    The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
    The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time
    employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
    I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
    I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,'
    says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

    The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
    Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye..'
    The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
    Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The
    auditor's jaw drops.
    Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two
    thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye..'

    Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
    Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
    The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
    lost three grand , with Grandpa's attorney as a witness.
    He starts to get nervous.
    'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
    'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can
    stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
    wastebasket on the other side, and never get a
    drop anywhere in between.'

    The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but
    he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old
    guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

    Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his
    pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make
    the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he
    pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

    The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he
    has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
    But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his
    head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

    'Not really,' says the attorney.
    'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been
    summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand
    dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your
    desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

    Don't Mess with Old People!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    __________________________________________________ _______________________
    “Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards". -Vernon Law-

    "Skilled Labor Isn't Cheap, Cheap Labor Isn't Skilled" - Unknown

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Augusta, Ks
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    Thumbs up

    AN oldie but a goody !

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Tampa Florida
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    When I was 10 my grandpa bet me $5 I couldnt push an empty wheelbarrow up a plank ramp unto the front porch. I was doing real well until he ran over and kicked the wheelbarrow over. Never bet that man again!!!
    The futures so bright, I gotta wear shades!!!!

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