> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
> > used
> > as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the
> > object
> > we are trying to hit.
> >
> > MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard
> >
> > cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes
> > containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
> >
> > ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in
their
> > holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling
> > mounting
> > holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
> >
> > PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
> >
> > HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
> > principle.
> > It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and
the
> > more
> > you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future
becomes.
> >
> > VICE- GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is
available,
> > they
> > can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your
> > hand.
> >
> > OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
> > objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease
inside
> > a
> > brake drum you're trying to get the bearing grease out of.
> >
> > WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> > motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or
1/2
> > socket you've been searching for, the last 15 minutes.
> >
> > DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
> > metal
> > bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings
> > your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted
> > part
> > you were drying.
> >
> > WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere
under
> >
> > the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls
and
> >
> > hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say,
> > "Ouc...."
> >
> > HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after
> > you
> > have installed your new front disk brake set-up, trapping the jack
handle
> > firmly under the front fender.
> >
> > EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle upward
off
> > a
> > hydraulic jack.
> >
> > TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
> >
> > PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another
hydraulic
> > floor jack.
> >
> > SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
> > spreading
> > mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
> >
> > E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and
> > is
> > ten times harder than any known drill bit.
> >
> > TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease build
up.
> >
> > TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile
> > strength
> > of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.
> >
> > CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
that
> > inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end
without
> >
> > the handle.
> >
> > BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric
acid
> > from
> > a car battery to the inside of your tool box after determining that
your
> > battery is dead as a door nail, just as you thought.
> >
> > METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
> >
> > TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a
drop
> > light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which
is
> > not
> > otherwise found under motorcycles at night. Health benefits aside, its
> > main
> > purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that
> > 105-mm
> > howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the
> > Battle
> > of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
misleading.
> >
> >
> > PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
> > paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used,
as
> > the
> > name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads and can double as oil
> > filter
> > removal wrench by stabbing through stubborn oil filters.
> >
> > AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning
> > power
> > plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels
by
> >
> > hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last
> > tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and rounds them of