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Thread: I Miss My Dad

  1. #27
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    Nov 2000
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    Coastal Georgia
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    34,902
    You are right. There are a lot of mental issues out there and you have to separate yourself from being around these people and it is important for your own mental well being to retain your pride and honor and not let someone treat you like a dog just to maintain a relationship.

    But sometimes the best medicine you can put on something like this is your realization you were not the problem but the victim of a problem some people just did not have the resource to control. Realizing the other person had some mental issues and just telling them in a phone call or something you were thinking about them may be the medicine you can to change that person with. Better while they are alive and can hear it.

    I recently talked to my X on the phone and she still has some serious problems. She left word to call her back while I was gone. I had word from her kids she was facing a cancer problem and death was around the corner which was not the case. I thought the wanted to say she was sorry. The witch asked me for money . I was not comfortable talking to her at all. I still think I did the right thing.

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
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    Chicago, N/W burbs
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    8,004
    I never knew my dad and from what my mom tells me, I'm probably better off.
    R2B4BTU

  3. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Momence,IL.
    Posts
    121
    As I have said my Dad died last April of prostate cancer and is sorely missed.It is a shame that he did not see me grad. tech school.It is also a shame that I did not mature or start acting like a Man until my mid- thirties ,and for this I am sorry,luckily I had time to tell him that before he passed and looked at me with understanding in his eyes and said I know,but not to worry I would do okwith my life because I was his son.My brother got a dvr recorder and went through all the old home movies of family stuff and made a little tribute to my dad.got it last week but been saving it.Dont know if I will watch it late tonite when everyone goes to bed or watch it with everybody.I guess there is no shame to break down in front of loved ones and I think it would be good to share with my kids who didnt know my dad that well.(they are my step-children and we live 100 miles away traveled back and forth myself when he got really sick)so in closing I would like to say as usual you were right dad I will do OK thanks to you LOve you and miss you

  4. #30
    James, I am sorry for your loss.


    Lost my Dad when I just graduated High School. That was thirty some years ago now.

    In an hour, we will be visiting with my wife's parents. Both are still living. But I know it wont be for ever. They are frail and old.


    Just reading the stories about you guys Dads is deeply moving.

  5. #31
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    68,979
    Like Otto, I didn't really know my paternal father. He left when I was three years old and never tried to make contact with me. I never thought this bothered me because I got such a great dad with my step dad, but I did have some issues about my paternal father abandoning me when my son was born. I just could not understand why a father would do that. Still can't.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  6. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Ottawa, Ont. Canada
    Posts
    1,729
    Happy Fathers Day everyone!

    There are a lot of wonderful Fathers here on this site. Reading some of your posts about family, to me, is the best part of the forum. It helps me, encourages me, to keep my family foremost in my priorities, you have been a strong influence on my life. It is easy to let other endeavors sneak up the list, you guys help me keep it right.

    So here's a pat on the back to all you HVAC-Talk Fathers!

    don

    PS We'll be heading down to Kingston to spend the day with my parents (Dad's almost 83) and my bro & family today. We are blessed.
    don sleeth - HVAC-Talk Founder
    HVAC Computer Systems
    Heat Load Calculation Software

  7. #33
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Hell Hole Swamp
    Posts
    4,180
    Originally posted by RoBoTeq
    Like Otto, I didn't really know my paternal father. He left when I was three years old and never tried to make contact with me. I never thought this bothered me because I got such a great dad with my step dad, but I did have some issues about my paternal father abandoning me when my son was born. I just could not understand why a father would do that. Still can't.
    Same here, my father abandoned us when I was 7 months old, never tried to contact me until my mothers funeral 25 years later, my aunt who always kept in touch told me he wanted me to call him, I told her to tell him to F off he wasnt worthy of a call, what nerve to ask me that at my moms funeral, anyway I dont even have children but I cant imagine doing that either, when and if I do I know for sure I will do my best to be a good dad.

  8. #34
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    Nov 2000
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    Coastal Georgia
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    There is always two sides two a story and in a lot of cases although tragic, some of you guys were probably better off that your Dad left. But I had a friend that had a father that left him and his mother when he was 2 years old. That was all he was told, that he left. Years later when he found out why, he felt sorry for his Dad and less of his Mother and step Father.

  9. #35
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
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    Coastal Georgia
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    Funny how life is..this is the next thread I read after I wrote that. http://www.hvac-talk.com/vbb/showthr...threadid=78404

    oroy54
    Professional Member

    Registered: Jul 2004
    Posts: 637
    Thank you all for your concern. I am glad that I am in good standing on this site. It seems that I know some of your personalities, friendship with peers. I see that most of you have been through the trials of everyday living. But for the most part I do have it good. James, you got it right again, She is a Torch Head, but there is never a dull moment with her. I thought that was funny. Lets get on with it. Thanks again, Roy


  10. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
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    Eastern PA
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    Originally posted by James 3528
    There is always two sides two a story and in a lot of cases although tragic, some of you guys were probably better off that your Dad left. But I had a friend that had a father that left him and his mother when he was 2 years old. That was all he was told, that he left. Years later when he found out why, he felt sorry for his Dad and less of his Mother and step Father.
    You are absolutely correct James. My case was not this way, my paternal father was simply a bastard who cared only for himself. I was the youngest of three that he left. My older brother and sister had a much stronger relationship with him and had a hard time adjusting to our step dad. When I found out a few years ago that our paternal father had died about 10 years prior I was a bit calloused in my telling my brother and sister. They took it hard while I was relieved that someone like that was no longer infecting the world.

    On the other hand, my ex-wife had always been told that her father simply never had a desire to be a father. Her father and mother met and married while the two were in the Army together and got divorced before my ex was born.

    When we decided to get married at 18 years of age, we were surprized to get a very nice card and gift from who turned out to be my ex's father. He had evidentely been keeping tabs on her all of her life.

    The truth was that he was going into law school after the Army and raising a family would have been troublesome. My exes mother made him a deal that if he never tried to contact my ex and left them completely alone she would never hold him responsible. He took the offer and regretted the decision early in life.

    My exes father went on to be one of the premier Patent Law attorneys in the country. He wrote the still used law book Patent Law and Litigation. By the time he caught up with my ex he was lecturing around the country on patent law. He would send my ex plane tickets (always 2) to where ever he was lecturing and she and usually my mom would fly there to visit with him. Just as my ex was getting to know that side of the family, he died suddenly of a brain tumor caused by a fall.

    So, as James has stated, there is two sides to every story and I for one was much better off getting the dad I got.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  11. #37
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    724

    Wink How Father's Mature

    How Fathers Mature!

    When I was 4, “My daddy can do anything.”

    When I was 7, “My dad knows a whole lot!”

    When I was 9, “Dad doesn’t know quite everything.”

    When I was 12, “Dad just doesn’t understand.”

    When I was 14, “Dad is old Fashioned.”

    When I was 21, “That man is out of touch.”

    When I was 25, “Dad’s OK.”

    When I was 30, “I wonder what Dad thinks about this?”

    When I was 35, “I must get Dad’s input first.”

    When I was 50, “What would Dad have though about that?”

    When I was 60 “I WISH I COULD TALK IT OVER WITH DAD ONCE MORE!"
    The quality of my performance, sometimes depends on the quality of my audience.
    Imitation (Plagiarism) is the best compliment one can get -- "Open A Window"

    To improve Indoor Air Quality: Control Indoor Air QUANTITY = "I.A.Q.Q."

  12. #38
    Nice stories, happy fathers day.
    My dad been gone 17 years, my wifes dad just died in march, were up at his old house in NE Pa this past weekend, have to straighten out the estate and all that stuff. Was weird being there without him, looking at all his stuff, his memories, his life.
    But .... me, my wife and daughter, got to stop and have dinner with my youngest daughter, at Penn State, on the way home and my son who is in combat training at Ft. McCoy for a trip to the desert next month, called me about 10 last night. That kind of stuff is what's really important.
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me! ©

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  13. #39
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
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    34,902
    Originally posted by Diceman
    Nice stories, happy fathers day.
    My dad been gone 17 years, my wifes dad just died in march, were up at his old house in NE Pa this past weekend, have to straighten out the estate and all that stuff. Was weird being there without him, looking at all his stuff, his memories, his life.
    But .....we got to stop and have dinner with my daughter, at Penn State, on the way home and my son who is in combat training at Ft. McCoy for a trip to the desert next month, called me about 10 last night. That kind of stuff is what's really important.
    I know you and I politically don't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff and that's mostly because you're f*ked up,a yankee and all that also but I know we had some good fathers when others did not so I guess we got lucky.

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