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Thread: I Miss My Dad

  1. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,666
    I am on good terms with my dad, it's my SISTERS that get me down. I moved here 5 1/2 years ago to get closer to them, and I have gone to the ends of the earth for both of them to do good things for them and help them out.

    But here I am still feeling like a puppy trying to be accepted by them.

    Despite what I have done for them, when the 2 of them talk to each other, the only thing they have to say when my name comes up is stuff that they DON't like. Not ONCE have I ever heard either one of them say "Man he is a good guy, he has done a lot for us" or anything of this nature.

    I have listened in on many of the phone calls when they talk to each other and you would not believe some of the stuff they say about me. Really pisses me off.

    I have made the descision that the next time either one of them piss me off, I pack up and move back home. And when I do, I will tell them straight up to go F themselves. After that, I will have NO intentions of ever talking to them again.

  2. #15
    I am probably the least lucky one when it comes to a parent. My Dad is a paranoid freak that continues to shun anyone from the family. My brother (Who is now passed) and I used to visit him every weekend, and have the best time of our lives. When I was about 13, and my brother got into the later stages of his disease and needed more and more care, my Dad weeded him off and tried to not make him come over anymore. Then after awhile he said I didn't have to ocme over anymore. He never calls or does anything to show he cares about any of us. He didn't even come to my brother's funeral when he was like 1 mile away from the church.

    I even emailed him recently, and he only responded once, In a very fake manner. He is too occupied with his new family I guess. It's a lot harder to hate someone who you loved the most rather than just hating someone, or missing someone.

  3. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902
    That is sad. Sorry

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,666
    Sometimes life gives you a raw deal.
    All you can do is try to be the better man.
    My father =loser.
    My stepdad = total *******.

  5. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    newton,mass.
    Posts
    6,109
    My father died one year ago and we are having a memorial Mass for him tomorrow morning. I do very much miss him. When I was going into the Marines the recruiter asked him whats the problem and he pointed to me and said thats my problem. For many years we laughed at that exchange, he knew that was the best thing for me at that point in my life. He only guided us when we needed guiding otherwise he allowed us room to grow and learn. Six kids all doing well.

    I dont know yet how i've done with my kids i'm going threw a very trying time now with my middle son.
    "Nothing else can poison our culture, corrupt our society or ruin the character of our people like unearned money or unearned opportunity." -- James R. Cook

    "Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever." Thomas Edison, 1889.

  6. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Coffeepot, Ohio
    Posts
    275
    Dad's been gone 14 years and sometimes I still find myself thinking that I sure wish I could pick up the phone and tell him about something...Treasure him if you got him fellas...
    If you can't push; pull... If you can't pull; GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

  7. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    11,808
    Originally posted by hvac r us 2
    Originally posted by James 3528
    Originally posted by hvac r us 2
    You guys are killing me, I have not spoke to my Dad in almost 5 years.

    Oddly enough, as time goes on I forget about him more and more...it's sort of sad.

    Stubbornness is a family trait I guess...
    No one gets to pic their family. Sometime healing something like this if it can be creates benefits you never thought of. It is never too late while you have a chance
    I know it, I have been thinking a lot about the situation as of late. It is just hard to pick up the phone now...

    Wait a second, what is this a "Dear James" column?

    What happened to the James that would have said "F"em? lol

    Well "Dear Abby" would say call him this Sunday. Can't think of a better day to call.
    The way we build has a greater impact on our comfort, energy consumption and IAQ than any HVAC system we install.

    http://www.ductstrap.com/

  8. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    3,157
    hvac r us 2
    Professional Member

    Registered: Apr 2004
    Posts: 1277
    You guys are killing me, I have not spoke to my Dad in almost 5 years.


    There are those of us here that will never be able to speak with our parents again. When they are gone there is nothing you can do to change things

    all I can do is encourage you to resolve your differences while you still can

  9. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,962
    My one grandfather and I had severe differences toward the end of his life. One morning I woke up and thought; what a putz I am being. It don't matter how opinionated and sometimes even hateful my grandfather is, he is still my grandfather and I will the better one of the two of us and get over to make amends. Then I fully awoke and remembered he was dead. I cannot think of many worse feelings then the way I felt that day. I also cannot shake the fact that there is not a damned thing I can do to make amends...now.

    My dad is my step-dad. I have been luckier then most in life in that while I couldn't choose my dad, this man chose me. He is without a doubt the biggest influence on my life and there is no doubt that I am his son.

    I have given my son my stepdad's last name as my son's middle name. This way my dad's name will live on in my son. Don't know if that was the best choice or not Then again, my son is just like his grandpop, so maybe it is a proper tribute.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  10. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ft Worth Tx ( North Richland Hills)
    Posts
    2,143
    My dad died when I was 7.....not too many fond memories. He was a mean drunk...my older sisters are all neurotic because of him. Once he finished a midnight shift at the steel mill and went directly to the bar and got really hammered. Came home at about noon. I was in the front yard playing (5 or 6 years old) "What the hell are you doing outside?" I'm just playing dad. "Get your ass to bed"
    "Why dad?" "Don't argue with me, It's dark out"

    "No dad it's lunch time"..... after getting smacked upside the head I went to bed at noon and waited for him to pass out before getting up an hour later.

    My step-dad wad a drunk too. A happy drunk instead of a mean drunk. Never mistreated me, but embarrased the **** out of me by passing out on the floor. Try bringing friends to the house....Oh just step over my step-dad, he's passed out. He died when I was about 35. He worked at the same steel mill as my dad.

    Maybe people can't work at places like steel mills and car assembly plants without becoming drunks. Like Robo ,I gave my oldest Son my step-dad's name in his name. His name was Paul and my son is Erik Paul. Erik is in Phoenix. Brian is at sea somewhere around Singapore. I limit myself to no more than 2 beers at any one time....and probably drink 2 or 3 six packs in a years time. I got the mean drunk gene, so I stay away from it.
    How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

  11. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Camel City, NC
    Posts
    6,233

    Dad

    Got him moved to a retirement community yesterday. When asked to name his children he missed my sister. He carries a good conversation with people when they visit him. 2 mins. later he doesn't remember. The preacher visited him a couple of days ago while still in the hospital. Dad said he was worried that he had fallen behind on his pledge. Some things are firm in his memory.
    Be safe not fast. body parts don't grow back

  12. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Ocean Pines, MD
    Posts
    6,997

    Or Not.

    Originally posted by ct2
    hvac r us 2
    Professional Member

    Registered: Apr 2004
    Posts: 1277
    You guys are killing me, I have not spoke to my Dad in almost 5 years.


    There are those of us here that will never be able to speak with our parents again. When they are gone there is nothing you can do to change things

    all I can do is encourage you to resolve your differences while you still can
    I tried. Even when he was dying he was still one mean SOB. Hadn't spoke in years, traveled a great way to make amends Didn't work. That wat 17 years ago. He did teach us to work. And to respect anyone that worked hard, no matter what, carpenter (he was), plumber, garbage man, (they were called that once), etc. But mean, drinker, not much for the family when he was there.
    My stepfather was a different story. Strict, but fair. Funny as ****. My best comparison would be Jim Rockford, (Rockford files). Same guy. When he found I was reading his training/tech manuals he always brought more home. He used to crack me and my mom up listening to him talk to nite call customers on the phone, (M'am, you want some heat, I can help. You want to ***** you'd better find some more blankets!) He used to put us in the car, pick a direction and drive. Seemed like no matter where we went he found a cabin, hunting lodge or something to use.
    He has survived cancer and was rediagnosed 2 months ago with it. We found out 2 weeks ago it was somekind of growth from the previous radiology, no big problem and he'll be around for sometime more.

  13. #26
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Southern NJ
    Posts
    1,241
    My parents are great. My wife hasn't talked to her mother in almost 10 years. Her mother's always trying to cause trouble, hurt people, distroy relationships. Really amazing stories about how she's just randomly picked a person she knows and spent years trying to distroy them. Boarders on mental illness. Maybe clearly over the boarder.

    So my wife decided one day that she was done with it and wrote a letter to say, "love ya, hope someday you get better and we can talk again, but I'm done dealing with you and your issues."

    And that's the last we've heard from her. She's moved all over the country since then from husband to husband, has made a good living on divorce settlements in several states from what we hear.

    My wife gets down about it sometimes but she's so much healthier than when she was constantly in the middle of the insanity trying to clean up after her mother. There are times when it's better not to patch things up.
    Ryan
    Maintenance Guy
    -----------------
    naysayer, skeptic, conspiracy theorist

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