Adam and Eve were walking through the Garden of Eden one day when God
spoke to them. “All right, kids,” said God, “I have a couple of items left here in my goody bag. Who wants the ability to urinate standing up?”
Eve immediately replied, “Please, God, Me! Me! Me!” So God in his infinite wisdom granted her the ability to pee while standing. But Eve saw that Adam’s face was a picture of utter despair because he too badly wanted the ability to pee while standing. So Eve was generous and said to God, “He may have it if he wants it so much.” So, God gave the ability to Adam instead, and he was so happy that he immediately ran behind a bush and urinated standing up. When he came back, Eve looked at God and said, “Well, do you have anything left for me?” God looked back in the bag. Looking back at Eve he said, “Sorry but all I have left is multiple orgasms.”
One day God decided to make a companion for Adam. He summoned St Peter and told him of his decision. He explained to St Peter that he was going to make a human being who was similar to man, yet was different and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure. God said he would call this new creation “woman”. So God went about creating this being which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When he had finished creating this being that would now be called woman he summoned St Peter. “Oh Lord, once again you have done a cracking job,” said St Peter when he saw the woman. “Thank you, you are very kind,” replied God, looking pleased with himself. “I am
now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this being, this woman. I require your assistance on this matter, St Peter. I am thinking of making her brain slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate and more adaptable than man’s.” “Good idea again, Lord,” said St Peter. “What about nerve endings? How many should I put in her hands?”
“How many did you put in Adam?” asked St Peter. “Two hundred,” replied God. “Then do the same for this woman,” said St Peter. “And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?”
“How many did we put in Adam?” “Seventy-five,” replied God. “These beings are constantly on their feet so they benefit from having fewer nerve endings there, so I think I will do the same for woman.” “Nice one,” said St Peter. “How many nerve endings should we put in woman’s genitals?" ”How many did you put in Adam?” asked St Peter. “Four hundred and twenty,” replied God. “Of course, I wanted Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn’t I? Do you think I should do the same for woman?” “Again, good idea, Oh Lord,” said St Peter.
“No, wait.” said God. “Let’s give her ten thousand. I want her to scream out my name.”