Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
On June 7th 1994, Chuck Norris entered the same restaurant supermodel Cindy Crawford was eating at. Instinctively, Cindy swept everything off the table, threw herself on it in a fit of lust, and begged Chuck to ravish her. After Chuck finished his beer, he obliged her. When Chuck's magnificent lead sperm cannoned into Cindy's womb it went straight to one of her ovaries and roared, "Which one of you servile wenches thinks you can handle getting split open by the Chuck!?" All of the eggs cowered in the corner. The same thing happened at the other ovary. "I didn't ******* think so!" shouted the lead sperm which then lead the rest of the troops back into Chuck's balls. Chuck pulled out; roundhouse kicked Cindy in the face and told her, "Don't ever waste my time again."
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure
chuck norris built the holspital he was born in
chuck norris lost his virginity before his mom
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Originally Chuck Norris was to play froto in Lord of the Rings but turned the job down cause only a panzy needs 3 movies to destroy jewlery. Also Chuck Norris was originally cast to play the lead role on the show 24. The producers had to fire him after he killed all of the terrorists in 10 seconds.
everytime chuck norris has sex he has to fix the hole in the wall the next morning
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
chuck norris eats babies and craps out delta force team members.
the only way chuck norris can have an orgasm is when there is a vietnemese family begging for their lives nearby.