My Daughter is P.O.'d
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    newton,mass.
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    My daughter found out last night that shes not on the high school hockey all star team this year, mind you she has been the last two years. Shes a senior and has had a great season, two coaches from other teams told her in the last week that she was on the team. Coaches do the voting and those two would have been at the meeting. What made it worse was that the coach made the announcement as practice was starting, she made a comment to my daughter that if you don't like it leave. This coach knows I don't like the way she runs the team and that she gets out coached almost every game. I don't talk hockey to the coach, I don't try to run the team from the stands and I tell people its her team to run, sink or swim. I know what its like to have people talking in the stands as I coached for 17 years,including coaching almost all the girls on the varsity team now. The early scuttebutt is that the coach made the change because she wanted another girl from the team who has had some emotional problems and the coach thought this would make her feel better. This girl is a good player and i'm not blaming her, but when the going gets tough the coach puts my daughter on the ice. When you teach your kids to be team players and that hard work gets rewarded something like this is a kick in the teeth. My daughter is thinking of quitting, something i'm against but I will support her decision if its made with a clear mind. Anybody been down this road and if so what did you do. Sorry for going on and on but I had to vent.
    "Nothing else can poison our culture, corrupt our society or ruin the character of our people like unearned money or unearned opportunity." -- James R. Cook

    "Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever." Thomas Edison, 1889.

  2. #2
    Having watched my kids play sports throughout the years and having coached recreational soccer for almost 10 years, I can say without doubt, many, many coaches are big a-holes. It's a sad fact. They often ruin a kids self esteem and turn them off from sports forever. They pretty much did it to me back in the late 60's.
    Ever notice the most fun kids have is when they play pick-up games....without egotistical adults involved? Most coaches are ok till they get on the field or ice or whatever. Then their ego takes over, that is their main concern. Sad but true.
    My kids were pretty athletic and usually started on the teams when they got older but many times were inclined to just bag it due to negative coaching. What you are going through is not uncommon as I'm sure you know. I wouldn't let her quit, tell her to stick it out, don't let the jagoff coach ruin her fun. Sometims in the end, things change. Good luck.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    Encourage her to stick it out this is a life lesson for her there will be dissapointments for her later in life and if she meets this hesd on and gets over it this will do her good in the long run.

    How many times in our adult lives have we had to cope with lifes disssapointments and keep going ? we cant give up we have others depending upon us to keep going.

    Don't let her give up encourage her to keep doing her best its how we need to be to rise above the nay sayers!
    Cheers and good luck
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
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    Ft Worth Tx ( North Richland Hills)
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    No...a female pissed off ????? Gasp! what a rarity. It's been my experience they're ALL pissed off All the time about anything!!! It's a natural state.

    Seriously,...she shouldn't quit. Learn to take disappointment with class and maybe have the opportunity to show what a bad decision the coach made.

    How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Victoria,Tx
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    6,680

    Frown Don't quit!

    My son played football. In his senior year his team was up on the opponent by alot of points. The coach took him out of the game to lessen the chances of him geting hurt. We had four more games to play in the season. He was pissed. He told the coaches and had some headphones on talking to the press box, saying that he had worked long and hard, and deserved to play. They would not let him.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    newton,mass.
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    Well she made the dicision to play out the season and not say to much about it to anybody. They played last night and there were no problems, she played great and didn't show any sighs of disappointment on the ice. The coach called her during the day and tried to back peddle her way out of making the decision, saying it wasn't her call. Well we talked to some people in the know and it was her call. The coach over the past four years has come to my daughter and told her shes one of the few players with the matureity to lead and would ask her to do things for the team because she couldn't count on the captains. Why couldn't she have talked to my daughter privately and saved the imbarrassment my daughter went through. Turns out the early scuttebutt was true and the coach did it to make the other girl feel better about herself, pretty stupid because some of the other girls made sure the girl knew why she was picked. I feel bad for her it's not her fault, my daughter wants to punch her lights out. I told her its not the girls fault so punch her lights out after the season haha, only kidding.
    Have you ever noticed that this stuff almost always happens to the team players and not the selfish "superstars". Oh well another life lesson, we now move forward.


    Ozone Drone; Geez your right they are pissed off most of the time, i've been married 27 years so I must be numb to it haha. Hey wait a second thats not funny!
    "Nothing else can poison our culture, corrupt our society or ruin the character of our people like unearned money or unearned opportunity." -- James R. Cook

    "Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever." Thomas Edison, 1889.

  7. #7
    She will be a better person for it, later on in life, when really important things come up. Good for her.
    I never seen girls play ice hockey, do they fight a lot, that ought to be worth the price of admission.....
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me!

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Victoria,Tx
    Posts
    6,680
    I over E, that is the equation. Keep your intelligence over your emotion. Your daughter is doing just fine. I know that it easy to get emotional and pissed for your child. You are one of the parents that care. She has came a long way from a drug infested world. She will make it in life. She has something that is differant inside of her, just like us. She wants a good challange. Roy

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    newton,mass.
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    Diceman; Girls hockey is the same as the boys except hitting is not allowed, but in alot of the games they hit like crazy. I always taught my teams to text the referee and see how much he'll let you do and then back off just a little, my daughter and the girls I taught do just that. As for fighting they do from time to time and I do have to pay to watch, it cost me about a grand per kid just to play youth hockey and then high school. And then add to it the equipment, my oldest was a goalie his equipment was over $3500.00 not counting all the sticks he broke. We all love the sport so its OK. They have thier last regular season game this week and it will be seniors night, I might just cry. You know thats my little girl!
    "Nothing else can poison our culture, corrupt our society or ruin the character of our people like unearned money or unearned opportunity." -- James R. Cook

    "Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever." Thomas Edison, 1889.

  10. #10
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    Dec 2004
    Location
    newton,mass.
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    Oroy54; You are right she does want a challenge, and she always works hard to meet that challenge. Thats one of the reasons I was so angry at the coach, why do this to someone who always puts the teams interest first. Strangely I think thats why, because the coach knew my daughter would take the hit and keep moving forward. And thats what she did, shes tough like her father but not an a-hole like him (me). When my father died she was with me the whole time, i'm just now starting to realize how much that meant to me, geez the more I think of it the prouder I am of her. Thanks for posting, you got me thinking and now I feel pretty good about myself and my kids. Well keep your stick on the ice and your head up, and have a great day. You know what have as many as you want!
    "Nothing else can poison our culture, corrupt our society or ruin the character of our people like unearned money or unearned opportunity." -- James R. Cook

    "Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever." Thomas Edison, 1889.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    7
    Hey do some work!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    7
    I broke 4 or 5 sticks in the sixteen years I played!

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