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  1. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    south Mississippi
    Posts
    185
    Hey spike take a few deep breaths and try to relax. Calm! Calm! there now thats better , it will be o.k. It could be the fact that as you approach 40 you are letting this get to you a little. They don't call it the middle age crazies for nothing. Maybe your looking at yourself and find your not were you thought you would be at 40. Who knows but it is a possibility. I cashed out of a dream gov. job in florida at age 42 and moved to Ms. just to start all over on the bottom. I thought it was the end of the world at the time, now I love being here. Hang in there and remember that more time with the family is also a good thing. btw are you by any chance in any hvac related organization on the coast?

  2. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    It's a no-brainer. Work for Uncle.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  3. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Posts
    1,503

    Thumbs up

    I appreciate all y'alls feedback

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Camel City, NC
    Posts
    6,232

    Spike

    All good advice here. Good luck with your decision.
    Be safe not fast. body parts don't grow back

  5. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Janesville WI
    Posts
    419
    spike


    Make time for those two kids,These two are your future. kids at that age need daddy not just a dad

  6. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    9,932
    If I was in your position, I'd say take the Govt job. As a one man show, your body's going to go straight to hell in a handbasket in the coming years. Before you know it, nobody'll want to employ you. When you get hurt or need surgery, it's all over. I'm there right now. Trapped in this business with a half dozen surgeries saved up. If I have them done, I'm out of business. If I don't, well, how long can I hold up?




  7. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    34.8n 102.4w
    Posts
    3,244

    IF

    If I could let everyone here pay me and get good benefits and not have to worry about slow/no pays..... I'd jump on that like stink on a skunk...JMHO ..Take the gov job, but come back and tell us it really sux.
    Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone.

  8. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902
    Didn't we have this conversation last year? Yes I think we did. Do you get depressed this time a year? Lot's of people do. Have you ever visited a prostitute?

  9. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Gone
    Posts
    5,340
    You might want to talk with frozensolid. From the looks of his postings, he has that relief of stress down pretty good...

    We could all pitch in and make you a member of ACCA and see if their statement about helping improve your business is an accurate one. You could be a work in progress before the whole country, like a pet project. Or maybe if they had any sense, they would bring you in for free as a marketing project after reading my post here and utilize you to prove their abilities.

    [Edited by madeinusa on 02-04-2005 at 02:09 AM]

  10. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12,077
    I have been restraining to say anything here and monitoring the comments to see as many ideas as possible.

    Mr Spike. Your first post to start this off was eerily familiar to the way I feel at times. And I will often get on here and then you got a guy like Dice to shake you straight. But not to pick on Dice, but listen to him in this light:

    He's self employed. Just him. Like you and I. Now the others are talking about bodies falling apart, and taxes difficult to pay and all that. I think more than anything when I have talked with Ed in email that I have learned from him is, that what he means when he presses to say to you to buck up, is that he found a very good balance as a one man band, in this business and he is a good one to ask for the survival tips if you want to remain as a one man band. It doesn't have to be terrible and it does'nt have to kill you and rob you of all your time.

    Us self starters all know too well, how easily you can find yourself getting caught up in the chaos and keep pushing for more work, more money and trying to be everything as a 10 man shop would be so that you can grow. Sometimes you just got to relax a little and not let it get you down. I see your post and your talking like you got to do the website and it takes just such effort. Quite honestly your being dramatic as a way to convince yourself to take this other route. But not only just have a website but do it perfect. In time my friend it all comes together. In time means that it's a goal you work torwards everyday. Don't try to do it in one week.

    I think I learned on this website from guys like Ed and James, is that, yes it's a ball buster to push your business to grow but yet it can be very easily managed if you know you want to remain small like you are.

    Personally as I am learning my business, I am figuring out that in order to grow, my biggest thing will be capital. Guys like you and I that got started on a checkbook with 500 bucks in it, we reason that we can work our tails off to build the capital to grow. Maybe. But thats where you feel so pressed right? But it will be alot easier to bowrrow the coin to grow. Only after you figure out what you want. And only after you figure out what you have learned.

    I have learned that, in order to find a good balance as a self employed that I need to first understand that I can only accept work that I know damn well I can do at a high level and profit. I can often look at being asked to do work thats not neccesarily beyond my knowledge but is definatley beyond my capability from a labor and financial perspective. That can tear a guy up in and of itself. So what do most guys do. They take that job cause they got a pair of balls and they want to make money. But then it kills them. What I am saying is, understand who you are and find work that is commensurate with your capability. Just cause your smart and you know knowledge wise know you can do the job, doesn't mean you can do it because your running a business and you must and need to see things from how long it takes to how much it makes to yada yada.

    I think your military background has got you thinking romantically about getting back around it as a civilian, simply because your seeing a rough time on your own. But your not recognizing something. As being a self employed you don't see the reality that you have changed inside. You will only come to terms with this part of yourself once your freedom is taken from you and you do not hold the position of decision maker. You can't know the difference unless you go through that. I have. Just like Jerry told you. He was miserable. I was also very miserable. And you will eventually find yourself miserable too. It absolutely sucks to go from being your own boss and to then being someone elses employee. You will find yourself asking yourself constantly, how they reason and why they think it should be done a way that is in entire opposition to how you would do it if given the choice.

    The facts are this. You change as you stay self employed. You learn things about yourself and your mind makes changes. To then change again is going to be even more stressful on your wife and children. Trust me. My wife said the same thing as Jerry's. I was like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. And I was even more depressed. I never solved my problem of trying to relieve stress and be
    more happy. The minute you make a final decision that this is just who you are and that your going to stay the course, you will all of a sudden feel a sense of calm you have never felt before. And your about getting to that point.

    I would say this to you, and I can say it with persepctive, and I encourage you to ask more questions. Here is my advice. Stay the course with your business. Take a breath and find out what you want out of it. Design a plan that fits that as much as possible and then simply forge ahead.

    There is one thing that no one on here in business can deny. That amongst all the benefits of being self employed, that one sticks out so well. You don't have to be broke, in debt or in trouble. In business, you may not want to make a ton of cash, but it's the simple fact that that opportunity is always there. You create those opportunities for yourself. You find it easier to do as you do it more. I liken this as to listening to Jerry the last couple years. He's finding a stride. And he's finding it easier to make money with less headache. Able to handle more stress and very easily. It took him 25 years, but boy oh boy think if he didn't say the course. Now with you and me, we have someone like Jerry who is so willing to kindly open up and tell us how he does it. In a way mentor us young ens. You can't find that most any place near you. Or you can continue with the route that Ed or James has done. Thier comfortable, they manage well, they know truly what they want out of it. But none the less out of all three examples. They made opportunities for themselves to get what they want.

    Bottom line is you can't do that working for others.

  11. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Posts
    35,838
    That was pretty long Dow.......
    But pretty damn good...........
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me!

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  12. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902
    The problem with a Military guy doing this HVAC stuff is he can't let go with the stigma that every call is a emergency because in essence that was the environment he operated in. After a while you feel like the nail. When you can learn to relax and realize you can't fix every system that was ever broke, that customers will make unreasonable demands after you gave them advice then did not take, then you can become the hammer for a while. You can enjoy this.

  13. #26
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Bennington, Vermont U.S.A.
    Posts
    13,864
    Originally posted by Diceman
    That was pretty long Dow.......
    But pretty damn good...........
    I remember back in the olden days when Many D's didn't use paragraphs. So you newbies are lucky.

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