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  1. #1
    -I have to think it over.
    =No way are you getting this job, but thanks for the free engineering and ideas.

    -I'm a little tight right now.
    =I can afford food, cable TV, beer, cigs and going out to dinner but not to pay you, tough luck.

    -This didn't work right since the last time you worked on it.
    =But that was like 2 years ago, and it was a piece of junk then but still give me that free warranty repair.

    -It was acting up the other day.
    =But I waited till 4pm Friday to call ya just to ruin your weekend.

    -I thought you said this was a good brand.
    =You do make them in your garage don't you.

    -I can buy that same thing at Home Cheapo for a lot less.
    =But I have no idea how to put it in and am too busy doing important things like bothering you.

    -Just make it last one more year.
    =For the next 10 years.

    -I am moving so tape it or glue it back together.
    =And put your sticker on it so the new owner knows who screwed him.

    -I was gonna fix it myself but I am too busy.
    =Besides, I have trouble changing light bulbs.

    -Are you guys looking for any help?
    =If you hire me you must be desperate and stupid, and I like working for companies like that, matter of fact they are the only ones who ever hire me.

    -The check is in the mail.
    =See... I'm a little tight right now.

    -How long will this take?
    =You charge by the hour huh.

    -What temperature should I set the thermostat on?
    =If I were you I would change my phone number asap.

    -It needs a shot of freeeezone.
    =Or antitfreeze or coolant or whatever the hell ya call it, either way it I know it ain't major......see make it last one more year.

    -The other company charged a lot less and were only here 15 minutes.
    =His station wagon had minimal rust on it too.

    -It worked good like that for years.
    =Don't try to drum up work on my perfectly good 28 year old Janitrol.

    -I am gonna report you to the better biz bureau.
    =I have them on speed dial.

    -My cousin is in the biz.
    =I would call him but I owe him money from the last side job he did for me.

    -My uncle is in the biz.
    =See....my cousin is in the biz.

    -My neighbor is in the biz.
    =See.......my uncle is in the biz.

    -If I had the tools I would go into biz too.
    =Soon as the monkeys quit flying out of my butt.



    Hey cockroach, don't bug me! ©

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Colorado flatland native
    Posts
    15,067
    -We don't have a new system in our budget right now.
    = When you drive by next week you'll see we traded the '03 Explorer on a new Hummer H2.

    -Can I make payments on that?
    = I'm gonna give you $25.00 to get you out of the door, then spend the next 2 years screwing you...... until it breaks again when I'll call you up and say "Hey ol' buddy".

    -I'll have to give this bill to my landlord.
    = Your f****d.

    -I hope you can help me, I've called everyone else in the book!
    = Your were my dead last choice.

    [Edited by spotts on 12-15-2004 at 11:04 AM]
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,943
    I have heard every one of them, and those meanings are just about dead on.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  4. #4

    After talking to you on the phone.

    -I need to talk to my wife and I'll call you right back.
    = I have milked enough information out of you so I am going back out and try to fix it myself.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Colorado flatland native
    Posts
    15,067
    -Let me think about it and I'll call you back.
    =Let me call everyone else in the book, give them your price, and see if they'll beat it.
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  6. #6

    Talking

    -You just put this in.
    =11 years ago, so what if I never changed the filter on it.
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me! ©

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    3,910
    -You all were here not too long ago.
    =I am getting old and senile because it's been 3 years since you were here. What was I just thinking?

    -Can you just put on the invoice that everything is o.k.?
    =I am moving in 1 week and don't wish to spend any money on this system. Let the new owner deal with it.

    [Edited by bb on 12-15-2004 at 07:28 PM]

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    2,400
    -I'm a little tired tonight dear.
    =Get your fat ass on your side of the bed.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    398
    -I've gotta lot more work coming up.
    =See how far I can get this goof to stick his head up my a$$

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    398
    -just put that on the last change notice
    =could you be a little crooked to cover my butt

  11. #11
    Originally posted by bigtime
    -I'm a little tired tonight dear.
    =Get your fat ass on your side of the bed.
    Or..
    -Let's remodel the bathroom.
    =Call me when your done.
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me! ©

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Gone
    Posts
    5,340
    - Do you sell Goodman?
    = I do not care if you are a HACK, uneducated in knowing how to mark up equipment correctly to be a profitable company, and are only working for a paycheck.

  13. #13
    -Do you sell Goodman?
    =I ain't had a good fight with Robo in quite awhile....
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me! ©

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

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