Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 27 to 39 of 41
  1. #27
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Momence,IL.
    Posts
    121
    I dont know about the sports thing.He is supposed to play football next season for his h.s. because he outlifted the biggest kid on the team.I think this is where he is getting this tough guy attitude,like he can whip my ass.He might be bigger than me but I was in the Marine Corps and know a few tricks.I think because I hold back he pushes more and moreI tell him I love him and he knows this.Numerous times I have went to bat for him with school problems.Is it right that his siblings have to do his share of the work to pick up his slack,I dont think it is fair to them.

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    3,400
    Originally posted by dragonfyre
    I dont know about the sports thing.He is supposed to play football next season for his h.s. because he outlifted the biggest kid on the team.I think this is where he is getting this tough guy attitude,like he can whip my ass.He might be bigger than me but I was in the Marine Corps and know a few tricks.I think because I hold back he pushes more and moreI tell him I love him and he knows this.Numerous times I have went to bat for him with school problems.Is it right that his siblings have to do his share of the work to pick up his slack,I dont think it is fair to them.
    He's a big, strong kid.
    A kid has to learn how to control his strength.
    It's not an easy task.
    Football will probably help him to focus his strength.
    He will learn that there is always somebody else, just as strong.
    No, it's not fair for his siblings to have to pick up the slack.
    But life is never fair.

    Have you earned his respect, other than physical?
    The low road is crowded. You need to take the high road.
    You need to tell him you are in no way interested in a fist fight.
    NOT during an argument.
    Show him how a REAL man handles conflict with his kids.
    Calm him down, by example.
    Parenting is not a contest.
    I don't have any idea what his neglected chores are, but some battles are simply not worth the fight.

    I do a few chores myself, after work, that are assigned to the kids. I don't whine about it, I just get it done, if it needs done today.
    I don't hold grudges, nor keep score.
    I still play with them, even right after doing THEIR chores.

    (I did turn the electricity off to the house once, just to get the kids outside. They never caught on. They just came outside & HELPED with the yardwork, as I was ALREADY doing it.)

    He will catch on, if you can keep him alive long enough.

    This is a problem that has been a long time in coming.
    It won't go away overnight.

    Hang in there.

    [Edited by bwal2 on 12-13-2004 at 02:57 PM]

  3. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12,077
    I see Mr Wiggins is not afraid to espouse his line of BS still. Some things never change i guess.

    That kid needs a serious ass whooping. The mother is sending her kid to jail with out even knowing it. A real shame this is happening.

    What advice do you want. You know the right from the wrong. The wife is in la la land.


  4. #30
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ft Worth Tx ( North Richland Hills)
    Posts
    2,141
    I went through this....He was into drugs big time....He'd ditch school and have a gang at the house while we were at work. Drugs plus raging testosterone equals a person you can't reason with. Words won't fix this... If you can't get your wife to see reason...save yourself 3 more years of grief and leave.
    How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

  5. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Minnesota/North Dakota
    Posts
    1,191
    Originally posted by dragonfyre
    My stepson is really getting to me.Tell him to do something or hes grounded and tells me I aint his dad.

    You ever try and ask him nicely, instead.

    This thread is B.S.

    Times have changed! You cannot parent like it is the 50's, just like you cannot treat employees like they did in the 50's. All this talk about kicking a 15 year olds ass. C'mon. You have not connected with this kid like you have with the other ones. And the worse thing you can do is run around thumping your chest. This kid is going to learn from you, whether it is good or bad, so you make the decision which it is to be.



    Thanks
    REAK


  6. #32
    Violence begets more violence. Bwal has some good points in my opinion, as does Reak. Hang in there, be patient, they all wise up in time when they get out and see life ain't fair. Football would be excellent for him.
    Good luck.
    Hey cockroach, don't bug me!

    www.AskTheDiceman.com

    www.TheColdConspiracy.com

    www.Pennwood-HVAC.Com

    Bring Em Home....

  7. #33
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    chicago suburbs
    Posts
    4,422
    violence is never the right answer. NEVER. smash-mouth parenting will not work. it'll just push him the other way and give him the wrong idea. i wouldn't hug him though, either. i agree that his mother better WAKE-UP, she's not helping him. set some ground rules and stand firm. NO flexing the rules. concrete rules. he doesn't do his chores (which don't sound like much) then he loses something like phone, x-box, whatever he likes. doesn't want to do his laundry....let him smell. he HAS to learn that for every action he has there is a re-action he won't like. i don't want to sound rude, but it's sounds like your wife is the weak link here. you and your wife better UNITE on this or it's over................ DO EVERYONE ON HTIS BOARD A FAVOR AND SHOW THIS TO HIS MOTHER.


    we had a similar problem a few years ago with my middle guy. he was about 6-7 yrs old and just defiant. spanking didn't work he'd just try to stare you down,like is that all you got? we talked to a counsler and that was the advice we got. UNITE and he pays a price for all the wrong-doings. take stuff away. he used to sit in his room for hours looking up at the ceiling.if you have to hit them then everybody loses. this was about 4 years ago, it straightened him out pretty well. no real problems since.
    maybe talk to a couselor for advice, the kid doesn't have to be there, just you and the wife.
    good luck.
    FILL OUT YOUR PROFILE!!

  8. #34
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    3,400

    Unity is the key.

    Good advice, Tinner.



  9. #35
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Bennington, Vermont U.S.A.
    Posts
    13,864
    When he said, "you ain't my Dad." Then you ask him who is your Dad? Of course you will have to explain to him what a "dad" really is.

    We raised 3 boys and one girl. There is not harder thing you will do in your life that to bring your children through the teenage years. One time I had to slam my daughter up against to wall when she tried to walk away when I was lecturing. One boy came home drunk and call me an a--hole. So of course I had to wrap one of those steel tube kitchen chairs around him. That is the only 2 times I can remember using physical force. It is always a victory for your own self esteem if you can use reason to teach your children the errors of their ways.

    At our 40th high school reunion last year all of my former classmates agreed on one thing. We didn't start to get older until we had to raise teenagers.


  10. #36
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    1,214
    I would just beat him back into a more reasonable age like 7. Caning is always good make him strip and tie him to a tree and you and the old lady can take turns caning him....Of course make sure you have a good lawyer on retainer.
    thehumid1-------I live in NJ, a state where it's free to come in but you have to pay to leave!

  11. #37
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    1,739
    goin thur this also. I try to let things work so they are not confrontational, I say what I say and he does also. BUT for every action there is a reaction. Or as we say today consequences. He just got busted for pot, sneaking out at night, his father gave him a cell phone (no gone) and was sending him money ( now intercepted at the mail box and being used to buy his clothes and food.) He won't be getting his drivers license for quite a while. When he complains I tell him he WON! yes you won you lied and got away with it, you were seaking out and got away with it and you were using drugs and got away with it, aren't you gland?? I also am now not responding to him, and he miss's the talking. I tell him he is a big boy now ( 15) he has his own life to live, and I can't make decisions for him or chain him to the bed. Do what you want to. But if you want to be part of the family then you have to have responsibilities along with everyone else. Keep it short and to the point, don't lecture. its like heres the deal take it or leave it. its your choice. If the situation is only bad because of one person stick with it, if there are other problems too, rethink you realationship.
    there but for the grace of god, go all of us

  12. #38
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Momence,IL.
    Posts
    121
    I cant say its all bad times hes a good kid when he wants something and thats my point . are you like the family pet you get a snack for doing what you are supposedto .thats fine when they are small.If the toilet is dirty Ill clean it.I tell him and its oh no thats s##t I aint touching it.Well thats life When he has a job and the employer tells him to clean the ****ter whats he gonna say I didnt do it at home Im not going to do it here.You know what the boss will say

  13. #39

    Exclamation Teenagers

    Somewhere on the web I read, "Parents of teenagers understand why animals sometimes eat their young."

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Comfortech Show Promo Image

Related Forums

Plumbing Talks | Contractor Magazine
Forums | Electrical Construction & Maintenance (EC&M) Magazine
Comfortech365 Virtual Event