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  1. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Momence,IL.
    Posts
    121
    no she was never married but all 3 kids are hers from her high school love who split when the going got tough.I treat all the the same and do not play favorites and yes dont even refer to them as my stepkids they are my children,and I treat them as if they were my own.The yonger two appreciate this and are glad that i treat them this way the older one just has no respect

  2. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Waco, Texas, USA
    Posts
    6,153
    wow three kids in her teens/early twenties and two of them were twins! Just think of the work, stress, pressure etc. that must have been on her. Now this all this stress is coming back to her because she sees two guys she loves fighting. I feel sorry for her because two selfish guys are in a power struggle.

    First go to your wife and apologize, then go to your son and do the same. Give him a little more freedom, eat some crow and mature.
    "And remember my sentimental friend......that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others" - Wizard of Oz.

  3. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    3,400
    I showed my 15 year old the original post.
    I thought it might open a line of conversation.
    It did.

    I love my kids and tell them so every day.
    Sometimes, they say it back.

    Hang in there, Dragon.
    Hold your temper back.
    It WILL be worth it in the long run.

    Kids are just kids.

    They really don't know any better until they learn better.

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    SE Michigan
    Posts
    18,065
    Lets not forget who is the parent and who is the child. Having a messy room and not doing your chores is one thing. Being disrespectful and confrontational is another. Its a serious problem with kids these days. When I was that age, I went to school and after school, I worked untill 8:00, from 8:30 to 10:30 I studied and did home work and went to bed. There was no time to argue and if so I was to tired to do it anyway. Sounds like hes got to much time on his hands. Make sure his grades are up and get him involved with sports. Between school, sports, and work...all he will want to do is sleep. Sports will teach him respect and a job will teach him responsibility. Unless hes the type that quits jobs when he gets a little criticism. Good luck to you and your family!!







    P.S. rap music sucks!!!!!!
    To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.
    -- Confucius

  5. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    east kansas
    Posts
    8,033
    Originally posted by Steve Wiggins
    wow three kids in her teens/early twenties and two of them were twins! Just think of the work, stress, pressure etc. that must have been on her. Now this all this stress is coming back to her because she sees two guys she loves fighting. I feel sorry for her because two selfish guys are in a power struggle.

    First go to your wife and apologize, then go to your son and do the same. Give him a little more freedom, eat some crow and mature.
    Steve, what a bunch of crap.

    The kid toes the line. Once that happens a little lattitude.

  6. #19
    Originally posted by Steve Wiggins
    Give him a little more freedom, eat some crow and mature.
    No way Jose... Respect is the cornerstone to any relationship, this boy doesn't have a clue what respect is...

  7. #20
    Originally posted by Steve Wiggins
    dragon from what I have read so far it looks like you might be most of the problem.

    That's an odd comment... Dragon has raised the boy since he was 2, asks him to pitch in around the house and this makes him wrong?

    A child learns how to care for himself by taking on responsability as soon as they are mature enough, are you one of these people who believe life is a free ride from ones parents? It is the job of the parent to give their kids the tools they need to survive once they are out of the nest... this includes all the fun stuff like how to make a bed, mow grass, and do dishes... and the invisable stuff like work ethic and respect for others...

  8. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Waco, Texas, USA
    Posts
    6,153
    Yes Lynn and control_noob you are correct. My comments are way to the left without basis. On the other hand if there is a weakness in the dad's behavior just agreeing with him only supports this weakness. At least my way might get him to questioning and analyzing his own actions in hopes he can see his own flaws.
    "And remember my sentimental friend......that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others" - Wizard of Oz.

  9. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    east kansas
    Posts
    8,033
    Well Steve I thought you had more sence than that. I too had that in the back of my mind, but the twins aren't giving a problem and I was a 15 year old boy at one point in my life. Futhermore, he has been there for 13 years. I have to default with the adult.

  10. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    davenport, iowa
    Posts
    778
    1) Make sure you are treating his mom with respect and honor and toss in plenty of romance !!!

    2) find out what he likes to do and do it with him, do whatever it takes--pay for the fun if that helps, etc. or find something you think he might like and do it with him create a hobby or something, maybe even invite one or two of his friends also...

    I once heard a famous youth pastor say.."Rules without relationship equals rebellion" it is true!!!

  11. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    9,932
    I've been in the same position and so has my wife. It's something you have to get straight in your head before going into those relationships. You're not going to be the father unless the child makes that decision. Under the right circumstances, it's possible, but it takes a lot of hard work and a combination of love and discipline. It's not an automatic thing. It's got to be earned. Not everyone's cut out for it.



  12. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    3,157
    I dont have the answer your looking for , but I can tell you that I have been in the same position that you are in , and
    The kids will win EVERY time and YOU will end up being out and alone , not them.

    It doesnt sound like you are getting ANY support from your wife and he knows it. When I was going through that all I wanted was for her kids to pick up after themselves and that was to much to ask.
    I came home one day after work and the kids were throwing pencils into the cushions of our brand new couch "just to see if they would stick" I told them not to because it was putting holes in the cushions. I was told by the youngest that it was not and ya know , when their mom came home I was the one that caught it for telling them what to do....so I stopped trying and then I caught it for not correcting them
    You cant win without her support

  13. #26

    Wink

    [QUOTE]Originally posted by coolwhip
    [B]Lets not forget who is the parent and who is the child. Having a messy room and not doing your chores is one thing. Being disrespectful and confrontational is another. Its a serious problem with kids these days. When I was that age, I went to school and after school, I worked untill 8:00, from 8:30 to 10:30 I studied and did home work and went to bed. There was no time to argue and if so I was to tired to do it anyway. Sounds like hes got to much time on his hands. Make sure his grades are up and get him involved with sports. Between school, sports, and work...all he will want to do is sleep. Sports will teach him respect and a job will teach him responsibility. Unless hes the type that quits jobs when he gets a little criticism. Good luck to you and your family!!

    I agree keep him busy with school and sports . You are 95% right.But hoever,i still believe it'S metalic and not JUST RAP.

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