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  1. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by geerair View Post
    A singularity underwent rapid expansion......next thing you know......... Homo sapiens.


    Unfortunately, conservlicans were also created as a result of this process.


    Fortunately for the cool folks, due to a self-inflicted disease, the few particles that make up what is laughingly referred to as the "Conservlican "Brain" are unable to efficiently process O2 leading to diminished cognitive function and ultimately extinction.


    Of course, the Darwinian version would have these unfortunates pass through a terminal "teabagger" stage.
    Here is a much more believable theory;

    For those who don't know a lot about history ... Here is a condensed version:

    Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

    The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

    1 . Liberals
    2. Conservatives.

    Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

    Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and making art. This was the beginning of the Liberal Movement.

    Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievemntsinclude the domestication of the cat, invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting, to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provide.


    Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

    Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare..



    Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have highertestosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywoodand group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Budor Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

    Here ends today's lesson in world history:

    It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

    A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.


    And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.....I'm going to have another beer
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  2. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    Here is a much more believable theory;

    For those who don't know a lot about history ... Here is a condensed version:

    Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

    The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

    1 . Liberals
    2. Conservatives.

    Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

    Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and making art. This was the beginning of the Liberal Movement.

    Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievemntsinclude the domestication of the cat, invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting, to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provide.


    Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

    Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare..



    Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have highertestosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywoodand group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Budor Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
    One word: Bush
    Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

    Chapman Cohen

  3. #16
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    Conservlican evolution:


    Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

    Chapman Cohen

  4. #17
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    that's hilarious, good one robo..

  5. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by geerair View Post
    One word: Bush
    Well, you may have spelled it wrong, but yes, Busch beer is good.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  6. #19
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  7. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    Well, you may have spelled it wrong, but yes, Busch beer is good.
    Polish your specs. Bush.
    Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

    Chapman Cohen

  8. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by geerair View Post
    Conservlican evolution:


    It never seems to amaze me how leftists feel that they have the right to make racist and derogatory comments and show, actually kinda funny, comparisons between people that don't like and animals, but when anyone does the same with the leftist elites, the likes of geer and page go bananas; http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2008...ndi-housengga/

    It is such a shame that liberalism is so closely associated with hypocrisy.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  9. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by cool-in-cayman View Post
    Your posse?
    Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

    Chapman Cohen

  10. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by cool-in-cayman View Post
    that's hilarious, good one robo..
    I can only take credit for stealing it from someone else.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  11. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    It never seems to amaze me how leftists feel that they have the right to make racist and derogatory comments and show, actually kinda funny, comparisons between people that don't like and animals, but when anyone does the same with the leftist elites, the likes of geer and page go bananas; http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2008...ndi-housengga/

    It is such a shame that liberalism is so closely associated with hypocrisy.
    Mine is anthropology, yours is overt racism.
    Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.

    Chapman Cohen

  12. #25
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    Your posse?
    You are so weak.

  13. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by geerair View Post
    Polish your specs. Bush.
    But, I'm not Polish. I'm of Scots-Irish descent.

    Just like it is not allowed to make fun of Islam by having derrogatory cartoons of Allah, it is not allowed to make fun of Obama. I'm sure that's just a coincidence.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


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