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Thread: 2 blonde jokes

  1. #1
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    2 blonde jokes

    A blonde is on a plane headed toward Toronto. During the flight she decides to get up from her coach seat and sits in first class. The stewardess approaches and says " Im sorry maam but these seats are reserved for first class patrons, you'll have to return to your seat" ..the blonde simply says, "Im blonde , Im beautiful, and Im headed to Toronto".

    The stewardess tells the co-pilot. The co-pilot approaches the woman and says," Maam, this section is for first class only. Please go back your seat now" The blonde simply says," Im blonde, Im beautiful, and im headed to Toronto".

    Finally the head pilot tells the co-pilot and stewardess. "My wife is a blonde, I speak their language, I'll handle this."

    The pilot whispers something in the blondes ear, and she says.."oh my God, Im sorry and thank you!"

    The co-pilot and stewardess ask what did he tell this woman to change her mind???

    The pilot said...'"I just told her first class isn't going to Toronto!!!"
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    A blonde locks her keys in her car. As she tries to open the door with a hanger, a man approaches and says "do you need help?"

    As he looks into the car, he approaches the other side and opens the passenger door and says "Miss, this doors open!!"

    The blonde says...."Duh, I already got that one!!!!!!!!!!"
    “If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” ~ Sir Isaac Newton


    I'm learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma!!!


    Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

  2. #2
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    LOL. funny one. seems nobody gets tired of these dumb blonde jokes.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Camilla View Post
    LOL. funny one. seems nobody gets tired of these dumb blonde jokes.
    That's because most of the apparent blondes aren't really blonde--some of them have gray roots, some of them have brunette roots, you get the idea. I'm married to a hair stylist, and she can sit in a restaurant and spot the 2 to 4 real, natural blondes who aren't using color. It's pretty funny sometimes.

  4. #4
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    Gotta love those Blondes!

  5. #5
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    Jul 2009
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    Got one for you, true story to boot....

    One of the construction managers at our local high school was leaving one afternoon after school got out. The parking lot was empty by then, except for one car with a girl next to it crying. He went over and asked what was wrong. She told him that she couldnt get into her car because the battery in her remote was dead and she couldnt unlock the door. She then asked him if he could take her to get a new battery for her remote. He then asks her if she had the car key on the same ring as her remote. She said yes. He then asked her if she had tried using the key in the door to get in, and she hadn't.

    She didnt realize that her key not only started her car, but would also unlock the doors.

    I about fell over laughing when he got to the end of telling me that story...

  6. #6
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    LMAO.....a blondes on one side of a river and a brunettes on the other. The brunette yells to the blonde, " Hey, how do I get to the other side?".....the blonde replied, " OMG..DUUUHHHH, your already ON the other side!!"
    “If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” ~ Sir Isaac Newton


    I'm learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma!!!


    Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

  7. #7
    A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
    The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That's not a TV -- it's a microwave

  8. #8
    Brunette, redhead, and a blonde are in the doctors office.

    The brunette says "My boyfriend was on top, we're having a baby boy."

    The redhead says "My husband was on the bottom, we're having a baby girl."

    The blonde starts crying uncontrollably and the other ladies ask "What's wrong sweetie, is everything ok??"

    The blonde says "I'm having puppies!"

  9. #9
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    You guys are Quacking me Up!
    Yes, I know I Shouldn't But I Just Can't Help Myself...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bladeforger View Post
    That's because most of the apparent blondes aren't really blonde--some of them have gray roots, some of them have brunette roots, you get the idea. I'm married to a hair stylist, and she can sit in a restaurant and spot the 2 to 4 real, natural blondes who aren't using color. It's pretty funny sometimes.
    I can tell the naturals too, if they are wearing short skirts with no undies.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    I can tell the naturals too, if they are wearing short skirts with no undies.
    Hey Robin, what if the Lawn has been mowed???
    If you really know how it works, you have an execellent chance of fixin' er up!

    Tomorrow is promised to no one...

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayr View Post
    Hey Robin, what if the Lawn has been mowed???
    That is a disgusting trend that I will never understand. If that is the case, they are not worthy of my wandering eyes.
    .
    .

    This is cute;





    This is not;
    ,
    .
    .
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  13. #13
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    Under a bridge if things don't pick-up
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    How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow shoveler?

    give her a shovel...

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