Some of my favorite lines from clients

[mckcd]

• "The guy that was here last year is so good he can tell what's wrong with my system just by listening"
• "Let me see if my room-mate is dressed yet."
• "Do you want a beer?"
• "Oh, I have an air filter?"
• "I just replaced the air filter last year."
• "Do you take cash?"
• "The installer told me that's normal."
• "I don't know what they did but they were down there for like 2 hours then they told me I need a whole new system."
• "It was only installed like 20 years ago."
• "He said it sounds like my compressor is bad."

[eglide99]

Long time customer called me last winter .. said "it sounds like something is trying to get out of his compressor" LOL ..

[jhallinstaller]

i switched the thermostat to auto but its still not heating.... i turn this switch to on and the air comes out i think i need a new thermostat.....

yes MA'M !!!

oh how ignorance is bliss.

[sweat hog]

It's making a "fluffing" noise. And, "It's always been new!"

[jhallinstaller]

lady called me out a while back her unit is freezing up....
upon collecting she tells me local company came out and looked at said unit and found nothing wrong ended up selling her a water heater instead peeked in carport to see t&p valve dripping seems that was the problem with the old water heater . called a plumber i know and he found the water pressure at !110 psi ,

huh prv and 1 hour later problem solved....

she pointed me to the water heater they left ^4 year old American Standard ...

gave it to a landlord i know and its still there in his rental house...

[Danimal535]

Oh my husband must have the check book ok we take credit cards.

[warrlock]

I get to the Ho's place he doesn't say a word just hands me the ticket from another companys service tech, which reads " Change over valve stuck, will not switch into cool mode. Given the age of system recommend replacment of system." Diagnostic fee $79.
Still without a word between us, I walk to the backyard and after a brief examination, fill out my service ticket. Which read, " Unit is NOT a heatpump, recommend replacing defective 45/5 mfd Dual capacitor." Diagnostic fee $69.

[XcelTech]

I watched two HVAC technicians, a lead HVAC Tech, and an electrician spend 2 hours trying to figure out why the RTU wouldn't come on.

I spent 5 minutes finding the breaker and replacing the bad fuse.

I also watched the same 4 Tech's spend 2 weeks on a Pre-Conditioned Air unit that was controlled with Relay logic looking for a wiring short by using a schematic with a motherboard. They also diagnosed the intake 480v fan motor as bad because it was over amping the 24v overload.

I spent 30 minutes to find the short to be an unconnected wire in the push start remote grounding on the casing.

I laughed for days!

[HVAC Teacher]

"Can you just get it going we have a meeting in the conference room in 20 minutes!"
(20 year old crap nobody knew was even there / somebody walled the unit in)

[XcelTech]

"Well I came up here to put away my Christmas decoration and noticed that light switch was on. So I turned it off to save money."

No problem ma'am let me flip this switch for you and that will be XX dollars.

[XcelTech]

Oh this one was kinda scary. Made me worry about my grandma.

The old lady said, "Well I couldn't remember the nice young man who saved my air conditioner during the summer. Lucky for me he was going door to door because it turns out I still had winter refrigerant in and if he hadn't happened to stop by my ac would be dead by now. Do you replace summer refrigerant with winter refrigerant?"

[joemach]

(From local restaurant)

"I need someone to come out right away, the ice is warm."

[yellowirenut]

"Why cant it be controlled like my house??" Usually ask by a cubicle rat that is to hot wile her neighbor is to cold