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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902
    I am a Democrat because I believe everyone deserves a chance. And if necessary, a second
    chance. And if, by the eighth or ninth chance, this guy needs another chance, I mean,
    come on. This guy is due.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in helping those in need. All of us, you and I, have
    an obligation to those less fortunate. You go first, OK? I'm a little short this week.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in the equality of all people, regardless of their
    race. That is why I think we should give free medical degrees to minorities because,
    well, duh. Like any of those types are going to make it through medical school.

    I am a Democrat because I fervently believe in tolerance. Tolerance is critical in our
    diverse society, and if you have a problem with that, mister, then I will inform the
    authorities and I bet that after a few hours in their "special room" you too will agree
    that tolerance is critical.

    I am a Democrat because I believe that we should take our noses out of other people's
    bedrooms. I say we move the noses to their banks and storage sheds and scout troops, and
    so forth.

    I am a Democrat because I hold sacred freedom of the press, as well as freedom of the TV
    and freedom of the movie. Where I draw the line is freedom of the talk radio, and don't
    even get me started about that damn Internet business.

    I am a Democrat because I recognize that education is important. Very, very, extremely
    very important. We must increase spending on education and enact important education
    reforms, such as eliminating standardized tests. Because we can never hope to measure
    this beautiful, elusive, important thing we call education.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in the separation of church and state. We must stop
    the religious extremists who want school-sanctioned prayers. Now, you tell me - with all
    that chanting and praying and incense-burning going on, how can our kids concentrate on
    the big condom-and-banana midterm?

    I am a Democrat because I believe in the rights of women, be they lawyers or housewives
    or skanky interns. For too long women have been the victims of discrimination, and we
    must target programs to help these women, and also the various people who have descended
    from women.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in women's right to choose. I mean, not a church
    school or a tax shelter, or something like that, obviously. Let's be reasonable.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in the rule of law. Or, at least, lawyers. Because
    hey, according to my attorney, I could have been on the Number 7 bus when it crashed
    yesterday. As far as you know.

    I am a Democrat because I believe a healthy economy depends on good jobs at good wages.
    So fork 'em over, you fat b@stard boss man.

    I am a Democrat because I believe the government should step in to create good jobs when
    that fat b@stard boss man moves my good job to Mexico. Hey, I know! Maybe we can take
    all the money that boss man spends on non-job-creating stuff, like solid gold yachts and
    mink spats, and use that money to create jobs.

    I am a Democrat because I fear the power of giant unrestrained monopolies, such as
    Microsoft, Nike, Parker Brothers, Univac and the Erie Canal Company. The government must
    wage an unrelenting,

    I am a Democrat because I believe in a strong military. Strong, yes, but caring and
    thoughtful too, and ready to face new challenges. A military that enjoys long strolls on
    the beach, cuddling in front of a warm fire, unafraid to show its vulnerable side. Must
    be NS/DDF.

    I am a Democrat because I believe there is too much violence in society, especially in
    our schools. To avoid another Columbine tragedy, we should have mellow "rap" sessions
    with at-risk teens, such as the Goths. The violence will only end after the teen Goths
    see that we adults really care, and are "hip" to their groovy teen Goth scene.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in campaign finance reform. Sadly, our politics are
    dominated by advertisements, paid for by the contributions of giant corporations. All
    too often, these drown out legitimate grassroots opinions, like the kind heard on
    TimeWarner-AOL-CNN, TimesCorp, or Disney-ABC.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in public support of the arts. By "the arts," I of
    course mean those things made by, or excreted by, an artist of some sort. It is
    especially important that art be provocative and take controversial stances, like
    opposing Jesse Helms, and so on.

    I am a Democrat because I believe in the environment and conservation. For instance, we
    must raise the price of gasoline, like they do in Europe, to increase conservation. If
    we don't, there will soon be a big gas shortage, and this will mean higher gasoline
    prices for you and me.

    I am a Democrat because I detest greed. Especially the sickening greed of those who
    struck it rich in the 1980s, and greedily refuse to give me any of their stuff.

    I am a Democrat because I... hey look! A new episode of Survivor! Geez, I hope they
    don't vote off Jenna, she's my favorite.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Ft Worth Tx ( North Richland Hills)
    Posts
    2,140
    And all this time I thought you were a republican!
    How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    forney texas
    Posts
    17,827
    He is now, but his daddy and his daddy's daddy and his daddy's daddy's daddy where Dems.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902
    Nope, they were Americans. Democrats now are in another column.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    3,909
    Ouch !

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Here and there
    Posts
    4,799
    Wonderful James, you only forgot one thing. I am a Democrat because i believe in the theory from one according to their ability to one according to their need. .... Karl Marx..... Comunist mannifesto. What a creed.
    i belong to peta ... people eating tasty animals. all my opinions are just mine.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    forney texas
    Posts
    17,827
    Originally posted by bb
    Ouch !
    thats what chickenlittle said when the sky really did fall.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    Originally posted by acmanko
    Originally posted by bb
    Ouch !
    thats what chickenlittle said when the sky really did fall.
    ================================================== =========

    Who put it back up?
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    forney texas
    Posts
    17,827
    Who said it was?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    You sayin' it's not?
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    forney texas
    Posts
    17,827
    It's falling here, the wet stuff anyway, you should get out in it, then you'll have an excuse for being wet behind the ears.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    Listen up, everybody. Chicken Little (ac) says the sky is falling.

    Somebody please clue him in that rain drops are not the sky.

    I think he never got past kindergarten.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    forney texas
    Posts
    17,827
    Mother Goose has spoken, now all you other ducklings can add on.

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