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Thread: Act Passes

  1. #1
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    AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS May 23, 2005

    WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation,which
    provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No
    Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly
    after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of
    the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and
    drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.
    "This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and
    allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
    legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors
    to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.
    President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
    has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
    performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job
    skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons
    of Inability.
    Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination
    against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs.
    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million
    "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
    purpose and performance.
    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given,
    to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
    The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
    maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions,
    and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to
    hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
    Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more
    difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory
    interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?" "As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me."
    With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
    citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
    Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
    American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
    space to take up in this great nation."

  2. #2
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    That means Kerry can draw AWNA when he is leaves the White House.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    That really is really funny, brilliant. Couldn't help but crack one of those sadistic Cheney smirks. I would substitute the words George Bush for John Kerry though, seeing how his policies of Home Depoting and/or Wallmarting the American middle class would have even the smart ones out there ass wiping in aisle 10 just to put food in front of their families.

    Also, tax cut? What tax cut? Really with their concurrent deficit spending, their tax cut is only a "deferred tax increase." Let's get real on the language. Our grandchildren will have the pleasure of handing half their paychecks to Uncle Sam.

  4. #4
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    Welcome aboard, we need some people around here that can see and hear correctly.

  5. #5
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    DAMN

    I guess Mancow and Remember will be my bosses for awhile.
    Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone.

  6. #6
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    that took a lot of effort
    there but for the grace of god, go all of us

  7. #7
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    Re: DAMN

    Originally posted by sline-dawg
    I guess Mancow and Remember will be my bosses for awhile.
    You are not that lucky.

  8. #8
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    Originally posted by bootlen
    That means Kerry can draw AWNA when he is leaves the White House.
    Kerry won't make it to the White House !

    But, I know you already knew that didn't you !

  9. #9
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    He only knows what he told

  10. #10
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    You and motor been drinkin' from the same bottle, I see.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  11. #11
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    Want a drink, it's only brain juice. I'm sure you could use a little.

  12. #12
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    No thanks. I'm quite full and overflowing.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    1,195

    Talking

    bootlen: No thanks. I'm quite full and overflowing.


    That's not brain juice, that's piss and vinegar. Big difference, even if GW doesn't know it.
    "That's good enough..." usually isn't.

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