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Thread: Euro-english

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Finland
    Posts
    117

    Euro-english

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

    In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

    replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    In a boiler room
    Posts
    7,186
    LOL now i have a headache

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,841
    ROTFLMAO!! What hoot. Who really sits up a night thinkin' up this stuff.
    If YOU want change, YOU have to first change.

    If you are waiting for the 'other guy' to change first, just remember, you're the 'other guy's' other guy. To continue to expect real change when you keep acting the same way as always, is folly. Won't happen. Real change will only happen when a majority of the people change the way they vote!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Charm City--the city that bleeds
    Posts
    2,790
    ROFL, that's funny. Thanks -MAKE-
    It's great to be alive and pumping oxygen!

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