Larry Liberal wakes up at 6am. He smiles until he remembers how much he hates George Bush, then he smiles a bit more. Hating Bush makes Larry happy.
7am he goes to Starbucks for his double mocha latte and thinks about how much he hates capitalism and evil conglomerate corporations. Except for Starbucks, they have good latte! He makes a mental note to complain to someone about corporations.
Along with the latte, Larry pops his Prozac/Zoloft cocktail of medication made available to him by pharmaceutical companies that Larry just hates. How dare they charge so much. He makes a mental note to write a nasty letter to someone about charging so much money.
Meanwhile, the money Larry paid for that medication is already on its way to Research and Development for the next generation of helpful or even life saving drugs. All but 10 dollars is already taken care of, but Larry doesn't think that's enough; he makes a mental note to complain about the sorry state of Healthcare in America.
Jumping into his Prius, He tunes into Air America radio to hear Stuart Smalley chat about how wonderful liberals are and how evil Bush and the NEOCONS (capitalized) are. Stuart is able to work up Larry pretty good and Larry makes a mental note to complain to someone about several new things he just learned about.
Larry arrives at work, where his dad is the Boss. Larry doesn't actually work there, he is 35 and still going to school full time for his 4th masters in Ethnic Sensitivity. He is also very busy with rallies and protests, but Dad always comes through with a paycheck if Larry comes in and does a bit of paperwork.
Today, Larry's Dad is upset because he works in the auto industry and just got word that he is being forced to make a car with even lower emissions. This standard will add a cost of 1,000 dollars to the vehicle, and the emissions will go down only a tiny fraction of a percentage. The cost of the car goes up thus making it less affordable, thus making sales lower, thus prolonging the use of older and much less environmentally friendly cars and polluting the air more.
Larry smiles at a great piece of legislation; after all, less emissions is a good thing! Larry makes a mental note to complain to someone that this wasn't done sooner!
Fortunately, Larry's Dad can handle it because he recently got some tax breaks. This means more money for the business to operate and that will hopefully offset this new cost increase and allow him to keep the people he has working for him, and maybe even hire a few more.
Larry remembers today is payday and goes to pick up his check. As his dad writes the check, he hopes he can maintain profits so he can pay everyone next month without having to let someone go. Larry’s dad really hopes Kerry is not elected so he can keep his tax breaks and keep his employees and keep the health benefits and 401k matches (because everyone knows Social Security is a horrible system).
Larry looks dejectedly at the amount and wonders why he has to pay so much to the government. He is determined to write a note to someone asking for the rich to pay more of their fair share.
On the way home from work, Larry hears about yet another Islamic "militant" who tried to blow up a bridge. Larry silently curses America for making these poor people upset enough to do something like that. Larry makes a mental note to complain about 50 year old CIA covert operations in the Middle East. As Larry pulls into the gas station to fill up, he's reminded how evil the US is and how it exploits the Arab world for oil. He knows this to be true because someone on DemocraticUnderground.com said so.
Once Larry gets home he gets to his computer that he bought from a capitalist company, logs on to his favorite "I hate Bush" website, pops another Prozac and begins to file his complaints about how Bush squashes freedom of speech, capitalism is the root of all evil and pharmaceutical companies are greedy.
Larry's had a long day doing nothing and he's got a lot of complaining to do.