Results 1 to 13 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902

    Thumbs up

    Larry Liberal wakes up at 6am. He smiles until he remembers how much he hates George Bush, then he smiles a bit more. Hating Bush makes Larry happy.

    7am he goes to Starbucks for his double mocha latte and thinks about how much he hates capitalism and evil conglomerate corporations. Except for Starbucks, they have good latte! He makes a mental note to complain to someone about corporations.

    Along with the latte, Larry pops his Prozac/Zoloft cocktail of medication made available to him by pharmaceutical companies that Larry just hates. How dare they charge so much. He makes a mental note to write a nasty letter to someone about charging so much money.

    Meanwhile, the money Larry paid for that medication is already on its way to Research and Development for the next generation of helpful or even life saving drugs. All but 10 dollars is already taken care of, but Larry doesn't think that's enough; he makes a mental note to complain about the sorry state of Healthcare in America.

    Jumping into his Prius, He tunes into Air America radio to hear Stuart Smalley chat about how wonderful liberals are and how evil Bush and the NEOCONS (capitalized) are. Stuart is able to work up Larry pretty good and Larry makes a mental note to complain to someone about several new things he just learned about.

    Larry arrives at work, where his dad is the Boss. Larry doesn't actually work there, he is 35 and still going to school full time for his 4th masters in Ethnic Sensitivity. He is also very busy with rallies and protests, but Dad always comes through with a paycheck if Larry comes in and does a bit of paperwork.

    Today, Larry's Dad is upset because he works in the auto industry and just got word that he is being forced to make a car with even lower emissions. This standard will add a cost of 1,000 dollars to the vehicle, and the emissions will go down only a tiny fraction of a percentage. The cost of the car goes up thus making it less affordable, thus making sales lower, thus prolonging the use of older and much less environmentally friendly cars and polluting the air more.

    Larry smiles at a great piece of legislation; after all, less emissions is a good thing! Larry makes a mental note to complain to someone that this wasn't done sooner!

    Fortunately, Larry's Dad can handle it because he recently got some tax breaks. This means more money for the business to operate and that will hopefully offset this new cost increase and allow him to keep the people he has working for him, and maybe even hire a few more.

    Larry remembers today is payday and goes to pick up his check. As his dad writes the check, he hopes he can maintain profits so he can pay everyone next month without having to let someone go. Larry’s dad really hopes Kerry is not elected so he can keep his tax breaks and keep his employees and keep the health benefits and 401k matches (because everyone knows Social Security is a horrible system).

    Larry looks dejectedly at the amount and wonders why he has to pay so much to the government. He is determined to write a note to someone asking for the rich to pay more of their fair share.

    On the way home from work, Larry hears about yet another Islamic "militant" who tried to blow up a bridge. Larry silently curses America for making these poor people upset enough to do something like that. Larry makes a mental note to complain about 50 year old CIA covert operations in the Middle East. As Larry pulls into the gas station to fill up, he's reminded how evil the US is and how it exploits the Arab world for oil. He knows this to be true because someone on DemocraticUnderground.com said so.

    Once Larry gets home he gets to his computer that he bought from a capitalist company, logs on to his favorite "I hate Bush" website, pops another Prozac and begins to file his complaints about how Bush squashes freedom of speech, capitalism is the root of all evil and pharmaceutical companies are greedy.

    Larry's had a long day doing nothing and he's got a lot of complaining to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Memphis TN USA
    Posts
    6,945
    Larry needs that prozac. He is a messed up man. Not really. He is a messed up boy. Maybe some day his dad will throw the bum to the street so he can grow up.
    If the superheat ain't right it ain't charged right.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    7,758
    You just told a story bout lots of the tree hugging folks I am surrounded by up here in the NW cept they drive monsterious SUV's while getting to Starbucks. And they live to talk about the evil GW while they wait in line for their shot of their $4.00 expresso. And any talk of troubles or bad guys in this world trying to do others in is met with distane because in their world everbody has everything they need, hunger and trouble doesn't exist and their main decision is around color cordination of their new furniture. And they think milk comes from Safeway.

    There is an old saying something about the more a person is removed from a situation, the more idealist they are.
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Dallas/Ft Worth, TX
    Posts
    439
    Poor Larry the Liberal he is suffering from LDS Liberal Denial Syndrome. He needs treatment. There are a lot of people out there like that hopefully they're in the minority.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Memphis TN USA
    Posts
    6,945
    I wonder if there are enough Larrys out there to create a whole stereotype around him. I do not know many Larrys, but I know many Democrats.

    The only Larrys I have known ended up working for their dad and became republicans. I quess I lost touch with the ones that did not eventualy get their act togather. Maybe they are living under a viaduct with the other hopeless drug addicts.
    If the superheat ain't right it ain't charged right.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Posts
    3,910
    Sounds to me like a perfect description of Geer !

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Colorado flatland native
    Posts
    15,067
    [7am he goes to Starbucks for his double mocha latte and thinks about how much he hates capitalism and evil conglomerate corporations. Except for Starbucks, they have good latte!]

    Funny! Too bad it's true.
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Waterford Michigan
    Posts
    2,668
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by Jamesgang 3528
    Larry Liberal wakes up at 6am. He smiles until he remembers how much he hates George Bush, then he smiles a bit more. Hating Bush makes Larry happy.

    Without poor Larry you wouldn't have anyone to ***** about. You'd probably end up committing suicide or on Prozac/Zoloft yourself; hey it might be better than the stuff GWB is feeding you now because Larry is at least happy.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    5,773
    Originally posted by johnl45
    Larry is at least happy.
    HUH?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    1,065

    Larry Liberal

    A terrorist's best friend. And that includes that weathervane Kerry and his pompous ass wife.
    I pray not for an easy life but that I be a strong person.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    34.8n 102.4w
    Posts
    3,244

    Wink

    her ass is rather pompous
    Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    77
    Larry needs a pompous ass-kickin.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Saginaw, Michigan
    Posts
    454
    Outstanding !

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