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  1. #1



    JOB APPLICATION

    Name: John Kerry

    Residence: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth multimillions.

    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

    Law Enforcement.

    I*voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.

    MILITARY:
    I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military!

    COLLEGE:
    I graduated! from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
    I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except that of a gigolo, by marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
    As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.

    My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million.

    I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country.

    Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:


    None.

    PERSONAL

    I ride a Serotta Bike.

    My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.

    I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche."

    I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

    I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and I blame George Bush for the energy problems.

    PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

  2. #2
    Senior Tech Guest
    Experience considered...no, you will not get my vote...you should be in prison for crimes against the morals of any decent man.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Canton ohio
    Posts
    865
    Is that worse than "My dad got me the job"?
    Go RCR!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Colorado flatland native
    Posts
    15,067

    Jeeze Jethro...................

    I think he was elected!
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Waterford Michigan
    Posts
    2,668

    Re: Jeeze Jethro...................

    Originally posted by spotts
    I think he was elected!
    No, he lost the election but was appointed by the right wing Supreme Court. Kerry’s kept the same job for 25 years? He must be doing something right as he keeps getting elected and not by the Supreme Court.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    5,773
    No, he won the election.

    aintcha been payin attention?????

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677

    Re: Re: Jeeze Jethro...................

    Originally posted by johnl45
    Originally posted by spotts
    I think he was elected!
    No, he lost the election but was appointed by the right wing Supreme Court. Kerry’s kept the same job for 25 years? He must be doing something right as he keeps getting elected and not by the Supreme Court.
    ================================================== =========

    Kerry kept the same job in Massachussetts just like Chappaquiddick Teddy did...by a bunch of ignoramuses with voter registration cards. If he's been doing such a fine job, keep him there. Moving him up will only invoke the Peter Principle.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Coastal Georgia
    Posts
    34,902

    Re: Re: Jeeze Jethro...................

    Originally posted by johnl45
    Originally posted by spotts
    I think he was elected!
    No, he lost the election but was appointed by the right wing Supreme Court.
    No he wasn't numb nuts. The Supreme court just stopped the Florida Supreme court from changing laws on the spot. The electoral college had decided the election. Al gore lost his own home state. People like you should not vote anyway.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    Man-o-man. It just hit me. JohnI45 thinks the Supreme Court is right wing!!

    Hey, John. You got your "left" and "right" mixed up.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

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