Just fired my son (again)

[Roncool]

I so agree the bottom line is my son is just plan lazy. we as parrents just did not instill that work ethic that we have I just thought it would rubb off

[Dowadudda]

My old man wouldn't blink, lose a wink of sleep over me not pulling my weight in any aspect of my life. It did not matter what it was. And my mother was worse.

As a father and a hub and a dude trying to make a living in today's wolrd these days, I can't tell you how gratefull I am for there firm and disciplined rearing they provided me with.

What the hell are you thinking to even mull this over and even come close to feeling bad. He'll never become a man with this sort of wussy foot sort of take to him..

And I also agree with the US Military option HVAC 45 mentioned. Best thing for any young man.

[acmanko]

Since he propably has insider knowledge on what the job costs were and what you paid him and how much you stuffed in your pocket he is more than likely resentfull. Heck give him a raise, you can't take it with you when you die. better yet motivate him. Give him the next install and the money but have him pay you 60.00 bucks an hour for every hour it takes to install the equipment. I'd bet his install time drops dramatically.

[midhvac]

I have a son who sounds identical to yours. I also tried unsuccessfully to have him become a part of the business, but his alarm clock just wouldn't go off or other bizarre things happened on a daily basis, so it just didn't work out. He *never* runs out of excuses. Some unfortunate, untimely obstacle always seems to keep him from accomplishing anything. Everything is just beyond his reach.

Year after year, I kept telling myself he'd mature and become responsible. He's 31 and it hasn't happened yet. He likes those *BIG* speakers in his vehicles too

[hvac3901]

F%^& me once, shame on you. F%^& me twice, shame on me. family or not, sometimes you have to jump the ship if it's sinking.

oh yeah to the guy that says kids who run out of the house at 18 are children of poor parenting. well i say to that, i left home as soon as i hit 18 and i very quickly found out that my father buthead that he may be was right about most of the stuf he said even though it was smothered with assorted b.s., my brother did the same but he only lasted about two months and ran back home and still there today at 26. children leave when they leave, for whatever the reason, period. and at some point you must remove the mothers tit from their mouth and make them grow up, some just don't do it on their own.


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[sctech]

well it seems we have some fine parents on here, you did the right thing & your wife is just being a mom. Its a a tough job but if you dont cut those strings & make him stand up (even fall a few times) & be a man now, where will he be when you're gone? kudo's for a job well done , I know that was hard.

[otto]

I have been following this thread and waiting to comment. I have no children so perhaps my opinion is not valid.

I think you did the right thing. We service a clientele wher I often see kids who will never know the feeling of want. They will never experience the thrill of buying a car they had to fix themselves and when you get it right it fires up smoothly nor the joy of buying a home that they have had to scrimp and save for. Too often I see these spoiled brats and I do now appreciate how my Mom, single and on welfare with 5 kids, got a job and moved us away from the ghetto neighborhood I knew as a kid.

I'm gonna call her tomorrow and thank her again for that. She was more of a Father to me than my real father ever could have been.

[aznrgmgr]

First an foremost, I think you did the right thing. Your the DAD and that is an AWESOME responsibility! Sometimes you have to be tough, it's your job! Your wife is playing her part too! That's her job. AND that's why it takes a MOM and a DAD! Sometimes exceptional moms or dads have to do it alone, I really respect those people!

BennCool

Cudos for hitting the nail on the head:

"All you can do is give them a good set of values and hope for the best. They will and must try thier own wings. You just got to be there to pick them up when they fall down. How long do you have to do this? Answer: As long as it takes."

"The way I look at it is that I brought them into the world so I am responsible for them until the day that I die."

"Your reward for all of this toil and heartache, that they put you through, is when you hear them say something to thier kids and it is exactly what you said to them when they were the same age."

Don't know how my wife and me got sooo lucky. We have 2 very outstanding young men at our house. This is my secret for what it's worth: The first arrived when I was 28. Both started Cub/Boy Scouts at a young age. ALWAYS told them I loved them and that I was proud of them (still do). Went on a lot of backpacking, camping and fishing trips together. Hardly ever had to spank them; usually telling them I was disappointed was worse than a spanking. They don't get the best grades in schools but that's ok. The oldest has an IQ of 140, just became an Eagle Scout and has elected to join the Army; will come out of basic with an E-3 (took me nearly 18 months to become an E-3 in the USAF). The youngest doesn't know what he'll do yet but has an IQ hiher than his older brother, watches a lot of TV like Discovery, History Channel (I never watched that stuff until he came along).

Don't know what happened, they just turned out to be the best pair of sons I have ever seen. JMM

[Roncool]

I have thought it over this weekend. I will rehire him when he produces a EPA card, and a valid drivers lic. He will have to demostrate that he has a intress in HVAC by enrolling in some program Nate, ARI JR collage.I don't care. He also will be required to come to this site and at least read many of the problems that people bring to the site. If that is asking to much I will belive the hand writing is on the wall at that point.thanks for all the help almost all of your replys swow a real sence of wisdom and thought, and they have worked wonders on my wife. I made her read them all,

[itsamine]

I said it once I'll say it again "Sometimes the right decision is never the easiest decision"

[dbaker]

Joining the NAVY was the best thing that I could have done at the time. Not knowing exactly what you want to do or how you are going to do it is just a normal life process. I have two daughters and will always be there as dad.

[spotts]

He sat and told me how he wanted me to take him under my wing...... wanted to start his own, gonna get married, yada,yada. First day he was only 2 minutes late, blew it off. Second day he was 15 minutes late, My pet peave. Told him show up at 7:30 if you have to but NEVER come in past 8:00 again! That day he drove the truck with the emergency brake on and warped the drums. 3rd day, 12 minutes late and I fired him, all it took. This entire buisness will not "hold up" and wait for daddys little fatty to wake up. I wish he would join the Army. He's a lazy sum buck. Slowest walker I've ever seen. Drives me nuts at work, on vacation, waiting for him to come out of a store, anywheres.

[acmanko]

I bet he looks just like you too, and every time you look at him you see yourself 20 years ago.

[spotts]

Originally posted by acmanko
I bet he looks just like you too, and every time you look at him you see yourself 20 years ago.

I married his mother and adopted him in 1995 smartass! He's 19.
I've never been lazy.

[acmanko]

Originally posted by spotts

Originally posted by acmanko
I bet he looks just like you too, and every time you look at him you see yourself 20 years ago.

I married his mother and adopted him in 1995 smartass! He's 19.
I've never been lazy.

Excuse me!!

[rookie903]

Now, an adopted kid, there is another side to the equation of parenting. Any advice on it?

[Roncool]

Now thats funny

[spotts]

Originally posted by rookie903
Now, an adopted kid, there is another side to the equation of parenting. Any advice on it?

It's funny, this one seems to think he can slack and then play the "step son act" to mommy so she can straighten me out. I can take that crap at home, but not at work. He will not affect my ability to turn a profit. If he wants to work for me, he'd better be ready to work hard and put forth 100% effort. If not, I hear McD's is hiring..........

[Boiling Point]

Spotts - good for you!! hopefully one day he will realize the error of his ways and will thank you for trying to show him good work ethics. Its tough when momma bear gets involved.

[acmanko]

That why he's called spotts, it looks good over the dog house door and the neighbors are none the wiser.