Originally posted by Steve Wiggins The sign of a good parent is when the kids don't ever want to move. If your kids can't wait to get out of the house at 18 then what did you do wrong?
How wrong some can be - some of the kids that dont want to move out are lazy or on drugs or did not get self esteem as a child and feel that they can not do it. There are many factors in the development of children - just because your kid cant wait to turn 18 and get the hell out does not mean you screwed up. Hell I said it when was a kid, bet there are quite a few on this site that have, and realized quickly how lucky I was. I get amazed how people can spew out a response like this - do you know anything about this family?? Perhaps they are a strong individual type that needs to be on there own and experience life. So when a kid turns 18 and runs to the recruiting office does that mean his parent screwed up?? The sign of a good parent is a strong, individual, focused, caring, loving, supportive child - not one that mooches off the folks until 30.
But this is one mans opinion who moved out at 19 and loves his parent very much and they did nothing wrong - unless you count getting me into this trade from auto mechanics.
My personal experience is that poverty and hunger were a greater motivator than my parents ever were. 26 and no drivers license? Why would you risk your insurance like that? Anyway sounds like it may be time to wean him off the tit. Shoulda fired him right the first time shielding a person/family member from failure does not help them although it hurts to see them suffer. I appreciate my good friends today ...they are the ones that stab me in the front.
thehumid1-------I live in NJ, a state where it's free to come in but you have to pay to leave!
I see by your signature and post that the Wizard of Oz must be your family counsellor. Kids who want to stay at home after 18 have been taught to be lazy and count on others to do what you're supposed to do.
No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.
For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.
Since he propably has insider knowledge on what the job costs were and what you paid him and how much you stuffed in your pocket he is more than likely resentfull. Heck give him a raise, you can't take it with you when you die. better yet motivate him. Give him the next install and the money but have him pay you 60.00 bucks an hour for every hour it takes to install the equipment. I'd bet his install time drops dramatically.
I have a son who sounds identical to yours. I also tried unsuccessfully to have him become a part of the business, but his alarm clock just wouldn't go off or other bizarre things happened on a daily basis, so it just didn't work out. He *never* runs out of excuses. Some unfortunate, untimely obstacle always seems to keep him from accomplishing anything. Everything is just beyond his reach.
Year after year, I kept telling myself he'd mature and become responsible. He's 31 and it hasn't happened yet. He likes those *BIG* speakers in his vehicles too
F%^& me once, shame on you. F%^& me twice, shame on me. family or not, sometimes you have to jump the ship if it's sinking.
oh yeah to the guy that says kids who run out of the house at 18 are children of poor parenting. well i say to that, i left home as soon as i hit 18 and i very quickly found out that my father buthead that he may be was right about most of the stuf he said even though it was smothered with assorted b.s., my brother did the same but he only lasted about two months and ran back home and still there today at 26. children leave when they leave, for whatever the reason, period. and at some point you must remove the mothers tit from their mouth and make them grow up, some just don't do it on their own.
well it seems we have some fine parents on here, you did the right thing & your wife is just being a mom. Its a a tough job but if you dont cut those strings & make him stand up (even fall a few times) & be a man now, where will he be when you're gone? kudo's for a job well done , I know that was hard.