Two turtles go camping and pack a cooler full of sandwiches and beers. After three days of walking they arrive at a great spot only to discover they've forgotten a bottle opener. The first turns to the second and says, "you've gotta go back otherwise we have no beer." "No way" says the second turtle, "By the time I get back, you'll have eaten all the food." "I promise I won't" replies the first turtle, "just hurry."
Nine full days pass and still no sign of the second turtle.
Finally the other digs into the sandwiches. The second turtle pops out from behind a rock and yells "I knew it! I'm not F...ing going!"