easy like slapping a chihuahua
The excrement is about to hit the swiftly rotating air moving device.
A Veteran is a person, who at some point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for payment up to and including their life.
Gene Castagnetti-Director of the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in Hawaii
About feeling good: "Happy as a clam at high tide."
About a miserly person: "Tighter than the bark on a tree."
when it's cold out:
"shivering like a dog $h!tting razor blades"
"shaking like a French soldier"
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-- William Ernest Henley
Colder than a well digger's boot
Darker than a stack of black cats
Hotter than a pail full of red ants
-went over like a pregnant pole vaulter
-sitting on that problem like a duck on a junebug
-mouth so big she looks like a mule eating briars
-like a catfish: all mouth and no brains
-sitting up close like a sick kitten to a hot brick
-so ugly you have to tie a pork chop around the neck for the dog to play with you
-so ugly couldn't bluff a buzzard off a meat wagon
-thighs so big she could kickstart a 747
-dumb as a bag of hammers
-blonde whore is the town bicycle: everyone has ridden her
-so skinny she can tread water in a garden hose
-so skinny she can hide under the clothesline to escape the rain
-so short he can play handball against the curb
-so broke he can't pay attention
-so ugly he has to sneak up on a glass of water
-he was so ugly when born his daddy punched his mama in the face
-so fat she has her own Zipcode
-burger so greasy you have to cross your legs to eat it
-food so bad it would gag a maggot
-somebody so unbelievable gag me with a chainsaw
-nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
-as nervous as a whore in church
-nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving morning
There' a few to keep you busy!
Keep the fire inside the fireplace.
A Few More
Haven't had this much fun since there were mules in the stock yards, If it cost a nickel to sh$t, I'd have to puke, Hotter then a french fried fox in a forest fire
thicker than flys on a dogs a** in tha middle of july!
like a diamond in a goats a**, temp droppin' like a terd in a well, makin' progress like pissin' up a wet rope.
Some Oldies, But a Goodies
He's about as grace full as a bull in a china shop, I'm busier then a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward.-GEO
Add on to the post
Originally Posted by hearthman
Sweating like a whore in church on confession day
That's gotta be a bad thing.
Put that boy's brains in a matchbox and it'll rattle like a BB in a boxcar.