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Thread: METAPHORS

  1. #40
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    180
    Obama is like a great big fart. He's loud, he makes you feel good, but in the end...

    he's just a lot of foul hot air.

  2. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    michigan
    Posts
    23
    ... stuck between a fire hydrant and a dog!

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Northern Ontario
    Posts
    128

    when lifting something hewavy

    it took three men and a hairy child to lift that,,,,, when somethings obvious , does a duck have a watertight ass
    You miss 100% of the shots you don't take...

  4. #43
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    The midwest.
    Posts
    663
    A couple of my favorite:

    That's harder than a wedding dick.

    Cut me off at the knees and call me tripod.

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Northern Ontario
    Posts
    128
    when somethings good,,, thats the cock for dolly , went over like a lead balloon
    You miss 100% of the shots you don't take...

  6. #45
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Highland Il.
    Posts
    168
    Quote Originally Posted by Todd S 2 View Post
    A couple of my favorite:

    That's harder than a wedding dick.

    Cut me off at the knees and call me tripod.
    I always heard, " Harder than a priest's pr*ck on a wedding day."

  7. #46
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Highland Il.
    Posts
    168
    He's shaken worse than a blind queer at a weenie roast.

  8. #47
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    930
    From my Ozark grannie: easier 'n sliding a hot buttered awl up a wildcat's ass.

    Went over like a fart in church.

  9. #48
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    7,778
    As useful as a screen door on a submarine.

    Had to grease her thighs to get her through the door.

    Once a king, always a king but once a knight enough'

    And a very few of my First Shirts many favorite sayings I listened to for years:

    I'll kiss your butt in the middle of (fill in the town) and give it a week to draw a crowd.

    Pop Eye's a MF if that isn't true.

    I'll knock your dick in your watch pocket if you don't get that done.
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  10. #49
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    20

    Here's some

    The rich get richer the poor have babies.
    A dollar short and a bill late.
    Better to live on the roof than a with nagging wife.

  11. #50
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Central Illinois
    Posts
    100

    Bible

    Better to live on the roof than a with nagging wife.[/QUOTE]

    Actually Biblically based.......Proverbs 21:9 (KJV) "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop,than with a brawling woman in a wide house"

  12. #51
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    davenport, iowa
    Posts
    778
    busier than a 3 legged rabbit at the dog track
    Da Threadkilla

  13. #52
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,837
    So tight he squeaks.

    Uglier than a bag full of axxholes.

    Cuter than a wheelbarrow full of baby ducks.

    Busier than a one armed paper hanger in an axx kickin' contest.

    Tight as a tick.

    You'll sh!t too, if you eat regular. (Response to someone who's made the most "astounding" observation)

    Need to p!ss so bad, my back teeth a floatin'.

    Need to sh!t so bad, I can taste it. (Response) Yeah, I can smell it on your breath.

    Darker than the inside of a crow's belly.

    Hotter than a skunkworks.

    Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk.

    Workin' so many hours, on my way home last night I passed myself goin' the other way.

    That ladder's too tall for me. I get nose bleeds at high altitudes.

    Funnier than a pay toilet in the diarrhea ward.

    Slicker than snot.

    Tighter than a bull's axx at fly time.
    If YOU want change, YOU have to first change.

    If you are waiting for the 'other guy' to change first, just remember, you're the 'other guy's' other guy. To continue to expect real change when you keep acting the same way as always, is folly. Won't happen. Real change will only happen when a majority of the people change the way they vote!

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