The jetliner was taking off from Ohare. Shortly after it
reached the cruising altitude, the captain began his normal
welcoming remarks...

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. . .
Welcome to Flight 4295, nonstop from Chicago to
Newark. Our weather ahead is good and with the tail wind
we anticipate a smooth and uneventful flight. So sit back
and relax - OH NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

Silence followed and after a few minutes, the intercom came
to life once again. The calm voice of the captain said,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier,
but while I was finishing my announcement, the flight-attendant
brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the whole thing right
my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "Yeah, right... He should see the
back of mine!"