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  1. #1
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    Nov 2000
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    Eastern PA
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    Anyone with a senile parent?

    My mom, who just turned 80, is staying with us over the weekend. She hasn't been to our home in a few months and my sister, who my mom now lives with, told us that mom is getting pretty bad with the memory.

    I did not expect my mom not to know who I was when my wife first brought her to our home. My mom was afraid to get out of my wife's car to come into the house because she didn't know where she was or why she was there. It also took her a few minutes to remember who I was.

    After about 15 minutes, mom started to remember certain things. She would then repeat these things dozens of times over during the day. After taking mom shopping and out for lunch, she seemed to be doing pretty well.

    When we got back home, mom took a nap in a recliner in our living room. When mom woke up from her nap, she was in a panic. She again had no idea where she was or who my wife and I were. She wanted to know where my dad was. My dad passed away almost three years ago. It is really heartbreaking to see someone have to go through the pain of being told that here husband and youngest daughter are both dead, over and over each time they wake from a sleep.

    Just wondering if anyone else is dealing with this or has dealt with it and how it goes for you.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    6,959
    My Dad died 2 years ago this Wednesday. Mom moved in with my wife and I shortly afterwards. Although she is forgetful she's not what I would categorize as senile yet...it can still be a struggle though when everywhere my wife and I go she feels like she has to go as well.

    Shes been in Florida since the 13th and is coming back the 29th, I love her to death but it's been a nice break.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    SC
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    20,677
    My dad was pretty bad off when he had his stroke and passed away. Now my mom lives with us and her mind is still sharp. We thank God for that everyday. She has major arthritis issues but we can work around around and through those. I'm sure it will be very difficult if she becomes senile. But she's 83 and still sharp as ever.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    1,673

    senility

    Some libraries have DSM IV-TR as a reference book. It will tell you what to expect.

    BTW, on average, 80 year old women can expect to live to 88.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    4,356
    My Grandmother had Alzheimer's very bad at the end. She is in a better place now. God rest her soul.
    "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
    -Abraham Lincoln

  6. #6
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    Nov 2008
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    11,808
    my father in law is alzheimered out, been in a home since just after Christrmas

    we were up in Canada last summer, he was confusing things we did in Canada with things we did down here and vice versa.

    He would confuse me with my father, and a cousin with my uncle-- they all grew up together.

    His wife had a heart attack and double bypass surgery. She was in the hospital for over a month and released not long before Christmas. I think that pushed him over the edge, he detriorated rapidly after that

    My wife went up to Canada for a month, she spent a couple weeks looking after her father. It is really sad thing. Was her worst Christmans ever
    The way we build has a greater impact on our comfort, energy consumption and IAQ than any HVAC system we install.

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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    68,964
    Quote Originally Posted by Senior Tech View Post
    My Dad died 2 years ago this Wednesday. Mom moved in with my wife and I shortly afterwards. Although she is forgetful she's not what I would categorize as senile yet...it can still be a struggle though when everywhere my wife and I go she feels like she has to go as well.

    Shes been in Florida since the 13th and is coming back the 29th, I love her to death but it's been a nice break.
    Very similar case for my older sister and her husband. My dad died almost 3 years ago and since then mom has become too forgetful to live on her own. Mom moved in with my sister about a year ago. Only when mom visits myself or my older brother can my sister and her husband have time for themselves. This is the first they have been able to golf in a while.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by bootlen View Post
    My dad was pretty bad off when he had his stroke and passed away. Now my mom lives with us and her mind is still sharp. We thank God for that everyday. She has major arthritis issues but we can work around around and through those. I'm sure it will be very difficult if she becomes senile. But she's 83 and still sharp as ever.
    My mom was my dad's biggest antagonist up until the day he died. I almost think he gave in just to get away from her constantly being nasty to him. Once he was gone, mom just kinda went over the edge. He was her anchor, an appropriat analogy for my dad having been a Merchant Marine all of his life.

    Seeing her having to relive all of the negatives in her life several times a day has mellowed me greatly over my disdain for the way she treated my dad.

    Today we are going for a drive down memory lane in Lancaster where my dad was born and raised. Maybe she will remember some of the places and maybe not.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoIsThat? View Post
    Some libraries have DSM IV-TR as a reference book. It will tell you what to expect.

    BTW, on average, 80 year old women can expect to live to 88.
    Thanks, I check that out. Actually, my wife has the library card, so she will check that out
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    11,808
    I keep saying that I am going to do a poster on 24x36 paper to remind me how to off myself with a hose and a tailpipe in case I ever get like that
    The way we build has a greater impact on our comfort, energy consumption and IAQ than any HVAC system we install.

    http://www.ductstrap.com/

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by whec720 View Post
    My Grandmother had Alzheimer's very bad at the end. She is in a better place now. God rest her soul.
    We are told this is not alzheimers. I can't even imagine what those of you who have gone through having a relative with alzheimers must have gone through. I too believe that our spiritual existance is a better place then our temporary mortal lives. I do also believe that God does rest our souls.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carnak View Post
    my father in law is alzheimered out, been in a home since just after Christrmas

    we were up in Canada last summer, he was confusing things we did in Canada with things we did down here and vice versa.

    He would confuse me with my father, and a cousin with my uncle-- they all grew up together.

    His wife had a heart attack and double bypass surgery. She was in the hospital for over a month and released not long before Christmas. I think that pushed him over the edge, he detriorated rapidly after that

    My wife went up to Canada for a month, she spent a couple weeks looking after her father. It is really sad thing. Was her worst Christmans ever
    Knowing what a caring and wonderful person your wife is carny, that is really a shame. I guess we all will have to go through something similar if we live long enough.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


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