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Thread: Funny Quotes

  1. #27
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    Jul 2001
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    3,112
    God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh.

  2. #28
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    May 2000
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    Rochester, NY, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    May's well; can't dance and it's too wet to plow.
    WHA.....????? I don't get it???
    LOVE has four letters

    So does BEER, DEER,GUNS AND FISH

  3. #29
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    Oct 2005
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    sacramento calif.
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    1,191
    i was so drunk i thought i was dancing till someone stepped on my fingers.
    i was born under a wandrin star.

  4. #30
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    May 2000
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    Rochester, NY, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by stonefly View Post
    i was so drunk i thought i was dancing till someone stepped on my fingers.
    good one big2
    LOVE has four letters

    So does BEER, DEER,GUNS AND FISH

  5. #31
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    West Central Florida
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    103
    "It is better to keep your mouth shut and let everyone assume your a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    I was working on a job and saw a tractor back into the plumbers truck and my helper says to the guy "Aw don't worry, that sh$t will buff out"
    "Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it." Henry Ford

  6. #32
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    Nov 2000
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    Eastern PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmac00 View Post
    WHA.....????? I don't get it???
    My dad used to say this when someone would ask if him to do something when he had absolutely nothing else to do.

    I figure it means that since you can't dance and you can't plow because it's too wet, you may as well do what you are asked to do. Sort of like, why not, got nothing else to do.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  7. #33
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    May 2000
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    Rochester, NY, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoBoTeq View Post
    My dad used to say this when someone would ask if him to do something when he had absolutely nothing else to do.

    I figure it means that since you can't dance and you can't plow because it's too wet, you may as well do what you are asked to do. Sort of like, why not, got nothing else to do.

    Riiiiiiight
    LOVE has four letters

    So does BEER, DEER,GUNS AND FISH

  8. #34
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    May 2000
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    Colorado flatland native
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    15,067
    Quote Originally Posted by ckone180 View Post
    Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!
    Brilliant. Reminds me of my own..... "The people who scare the livin **** outa me are the ones who believe their own lies"
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  9. #35
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    May 2000
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    Colorado flatland native
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    Quote Originally Posted by 69Stang View Post
    The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
    My wife uses that all the time.

    "The only way that you can get Jack.... or his Dad to do something is to tell um they cant......... either that or mention it in conversation and wait till it becomes their idea, tellin um what to do never works"
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  10. #36
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    May 2000
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    Colorado flatland native
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerald64 View Post
    It's not about having what you want but wanting what you have.
    "Want what you have" Agreed
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  11. #37
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    May 2000
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    Colorado flatland native
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    Quote Originally Posted by 69Stang View Post
    "Buying quality service is like buying oats. If you want good, clean, quality oats you have to pay a fair price. If, however, you are satisfied with oats that have already been through the horse .... well, they are a little cheaper."

    I love it!!!
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

  12. #38
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    May 2000
    Location
    Urbandale IA. USA
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    4,942
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ckone180
    Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

    Brilliant. Reminds me of my own..... "The people who scare the livin **** outa me are the ones who believe their own lies"
    Above is a quote from spotts.

    Sounds like some liberals I know. Sorry for getting political.

    Here is one:
    It is better to want what you dont have, than to have what you dont want.
    Those who dance, appear insane to those who do not hear the music.
    Those who believe, appear ignorant to those who do not know God.

  13. #39
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Colorado flatland native
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    15,067
    One used to describe our feast or famine biz during a busy time when your real tired......

    "Tigers, boys! Feed um when their hungry!!!"

    Then we hit er hard and go another day!
    My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
    Walter Matthau

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