>
> President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
> invade next, when his telephone rang.
>
> 'Hallo, President Bush' a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie,
> up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh?
> I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you eh!'
>
> 'Well Archie,' George replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big
> is your army?'
>
> 'Right now,' said Archie, after a moments calculation 'there is myself,
> me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team
> from the pub. That makes eight!'
>
> George paused.. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in
> my army waiting to move on my command.'
>
> 'Holy jeez,' said Archie. 'I'll have ta call ya back!'
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. 'Mr. Bush, the war is
> still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'
>
> 'And what equipment would that be Archie?', George asked.
>
> 'Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
> tractor.'
>
> President Bush sighed. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
> and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
> one and a half million since we last spoke.'
>
> 'Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye', said Archie, 'I'll be getting back to
> ya.'
>
> Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. 'President Bush, the war
> is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
> modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit,
> and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!'
>
> George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. 'I must tell
> you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
> military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
> sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'
>
> 'Jeysus, Mary and Joseph,' said Archie,'I'll have ta call youse back.'
>
> Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. 'President Bush! I am
> sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war.'
>
> 'I'm sorry to hear that' said George. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
>
> 'Well, sir,' said Archie, 'we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
> chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can
> feed two million prisoners.'
>