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  1. #1
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    Sep 2002
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    Getting rid of the orange juice

    A few weeks ago there was a bridal shower for my son's future wife. The bridesmaids are stupid or cheap or something and the plans were pretty rubbish. So me and the little woman stepped in and arranged for a Mimosa Fountain, and a really nice cake, and wine and champagne and so forth.

    It all went well but at the end there were some things left over. The bridesmaids, who had all roundly pooh-poohed the idea of any alcohol at all, were merrily making off with the remaining case of champagne, half a case of wine, and etc.

    The little woman has a ferocious sense of Right & Wrong, and she has learned Attitude well from me over the years, so the looting was rudely halted and my trunk loaded with The Spoils Of War. <g>

    They are all such sweet, really delectable, little girls that I couldn't have given them the hooch fast enough - but it wasn't my call and so it all came back to my house.

    We drank mimosas every morning for days and champagne the rest of the day as well. There was more orange juice than champagne and I was tasked with drinking it.

    Can't you drink this orange juice?

    OK; sure. I'll take care of it.

    So I am not an 'orange juice in the morning' type person, and I'm not really 'an orange juice drinker' at all but I do sometimes like mixing it 50/50 with bourbon. So every evening I pour a ricky-glass full and sip it down. And maybe have 2-3 more after that.

    You all may have even noticed the effects on here. <g>

    So I get through the two half gallons of orange juice and then the next day I see another half gallon of it way back in the frig. I don't back down easily so I opened a fresh half gallon of bourbon and started in on that last half gallon of orange juice. Took me a couple days but I managed it.

    The next morning there were TWO half gallons of orange juice in the refrigerator.

    "Goddamn! How the hell much orange juice did you buy for that shower? Couldn't you return it? What the hell; I am running out of every goddamned kind of bourbon we have!"

    What?

    Where is all this goddamned orange juice anyway? How much is left now?

    Orange juice? What do you mean "left"?

    The orange juice from the shower - you asked me to drink it. I thought there was a bottle or two - hell I feel like I have been drinking it for weeks here!

    You were drinking it so fast that I thought you liked it. So I started buying it every few days for you.

    For me? Hell; I don't even like orange juice - I only drank it because you said that you didn't want it to go to waste.

    Oh; yeah - there was two half gallons left from the shower. But then you drank them so fast that I thought I better start keeping orange juice in the house.

    I probably drank $100. worth of bourbon - to get rid of the friggin orange juice. Do Not Buy Any More Orange Juice!

    Oh; I thought you liked it - why did you drink it all?

    Because YOU told me to! Have you ever seen me drink orange juice before?

    No; but you sure seemed to be drinking a lot of it recently.

    Yeah; well here's the deal. We need bourbon and it's YOUR turn to buy it. Get $100. worth of Jim Beam and a bottle of Heaven Hill in case people I don't like come over. And don't buy any more goddamned juice!
    PHM
    --------
    The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Dover, DE
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    I say again my northern friend, I'll be the first in line to purchase a copy of your memoir
    I havent failed. Ive just found 10,000 ways that wont work. - Thomas Edison

    Its not whether you get knocked down, its whether you get up. - Vince Lombardi

    "In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics" - Homer Simpson

  3. Likes tmt, zamoramax, joejax, Ga-HVAC-tech liked this post
  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    I love it. I haven't had that much time in here and I can say I will take the 2nd.
    Bourbon huh? Orange juice huh? Pour one for me!

    The 2nd is there to protect the 1st. DTOM

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
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    I love orange juice very much and I never got rid of it.

  6. #5
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    Aug 2017
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    United States
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    I can have orange juice without fall. I just love it and would never want to get rid of it.

  7. #6
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    Sep 2005
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    Atlanta GA area
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    Fresh fruit in the morning seems to work for me... sometimes preparing an apple or orange or grapefruit is not in the schedule... so a glass of juice is the answer. Note the sugars are concentrated in fruit juices (believe it or not, carrot juice has the most sugar by volume of any juice)... so a small glass is probably better than a larger one!
    Ga-HVAC-tech

    Your comfort, Your way, Everyday!

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
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    south jersey
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    I laughing my butt off. Great story. Thanks for cheering me up.
    You need to put the phone down and get back to work!

  9. #8
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    Sep 2002
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    Thread Starter
    In general, it is my belief that the proper food grows right where the people themselves grow. And I don't think it's any kind of accident - in case you were wondering. <g>. So I think that a person should focus on eating primarily whatever grows local to where they live.

    I live where apples and peaches and pears grow. No citrus fruits grow near me. We also have eggplant, cranberries, spinach, asparagus, peppers, cucumbers, squash of all kinds, tomatoes, cabbage, and melons of all kinds. And all the root vegetables; carrots, parsnips, rutabaga, turnips. So I tend to focus on those kinds of things.

    Which reminds me: I think it's better to also eat primarily what is in-season where you live - I don't think the seasons, and our requirements during them, are any accident either.

    Of course it's just my opinion; I could be wrong.
    PHM
    --------
    The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Houston, Tx
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poodle Head Mikey View Post
    In general, it is my belief that the proper food grows right where the people themselves grow. And I don't think it's any kind of accident - in case you were wondering. <g>. So I think that a person should focus on eating primarily whatever grows local to where they live.

    I live where apples and peaches and pears grow. No citrus fruits grow near me. We also have eggplant, cranberries, spinach, asparagus, peppers, cucumbers, squash of all kinds, tomatoes, cabbage, and melons of all kinds. And all the root vegetables; carrots, parsnips, rutabaga, turnips. So I tend to focus on those kinds of things.

    Which reminds me: I think it's better to also eat primarily what is in-season where you live - I don't think the seasons, and our requirements during them, are any accident either.

    Of course it's just my opinion; I could be wrong.

    oh man. im glad i dont share your same beliefs... id be eating only pecans alfalfa and petroleum lol.

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  12. #10
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    Thread Starter
    I know you all grow beans but if you leave them out the chili is pretty good. I am pretty sure that everything I mentioned earlier, and then some, grows in east Texas. <g>

    PHM
    -------




    Quote Originally Posted by queequeg152 View Post
    oh man. im glad i dont share your same beliefs... id be eating only pecans alfalfa and petroleum lol.
    PHM
    --------
    The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.

  13. #11
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    Apr 2017
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poodle Head Mikey View Post
    I know you all grow beans but if you leave them out the chili is pretty good. I am pretty sure that everything I mentioned earlier, and then some, grows in east Texas. <g>

    PHM
    -------
    yea i was totally kidding lol.

    im actually an avid gardener myself. grown everything from tobacco to rootstock grafted triploid micro melons( stupid expensive seeds).

    you can grow pretty much anything here, you just need shade cloth for much of it and you need to manually pollinate toms during high heat periods.

    when im growing toms, i will usually pop seeds early in february and have them outside w/ at least 3 nodes in 6 weeks easily... 8 weeks if im grafting. toms are productive from april to around july and then get less productive.

    most cucubrits go great... some bean varieties will go nuts down here... gords and squash mostly go nuts too. most lettuces can only be grown for a few months a year, though i had good luck with an israeli cultivar i cannot recall the name of. cascade hops do alright... sort of, but many of the other cultivars fail to yield in the heat.

    heat down here has a pretty sever effect on many cereals, and alot of fruiting trees are not viable down here owing to heat and flowering issues, but you can grow pretty much any vegetable you want.

    banannas are not trees... but they do ok... but you cannot really rely on any real production. hail damaged my only bananna tree.

    but generally speaking, with respect to agriculture...its better to be too hot than too cold.

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