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Thread: Engineer Jokes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Memphis TN USA
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    You Might be an Engineer If...
    Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
    The salespeople at Radio Shack can't answer any of your questions.
    You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
    You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
    You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
    You know what http:// stands for.
    You see a good design and still have to change it.
    You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
    You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.
    You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
    Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
    Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
    You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
    You've already calculated how much you make per second.
    My dad was an engineer and our family once went on a cruise Everyone else on the cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and my dad was still on a personal tour of the engine room!

    An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
    The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
    The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
    The engineer said, "I like both."
    Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
    If the superheat ain't right it ain't charged right.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Denver NC
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    Dilbert's Salary Theorem

    Dilbert's Salary Theorem

    Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two well known postulates:
    Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
    Postulate 2: Time is Money.
    As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time.
    Since: Knowledge = Power,
    then Knowledge = Work / Time,
    and Time = Money,
    then Knowledge = Work / Money.
    Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.

    Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

    " At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual." Partick Moore

    [Edited by 30+yeartech on 11-22-2002 at 12:56 PM]

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