A Chicago Bear fan, a Green Bay Packers fan and a Minnesota Viking fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Viking fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Viking fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Green Bay Packer fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Packer fan out crying like a little girl.
The Bear fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your supporters are some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Bear fan replies. "In recognition of your
kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes. "Not only are you an honorable, but you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Tie the Packer fan to my back."
Do you know how to keep Bears from coming into your yard?
Put up goalposts.
A Viking fan? No such thing.
What's the difference between the Metrodome & a Porcupine?
With the Metrodome
All the pricks are on the inside.